Let’s pretend that you succeeded. And you married a man to you with cunning tricks, witchcraft and a coalition with his mother, flirting with others and manipulation, pregnancy, psychological pressure and an all-or-nothing ultimatum. Believe me, in the end it will not be as difficult as living in a marriage with a person who did not want to marry you or did not want to marry anyone at all. And that’s why. Reasons why a man does not want to marry and is afraid of the registry office like hell incense: He is not ready to take on obligations — to connect his life with one woman, to be faithful, to overcome difficulties in relationships, to solve domestic issues, to spend money on a family. Negative experience of a serious relationship or unsuccessful marriage in the past. He has other priorities: first of all, planes, but girls — then. He is focused on his career and gives all his strength to the business. Not walking up, craves variety. Secretly or openly longs for a new sexual experience in the hot embrace of other women. He believes that life kills love. For him, love is a passion and a candy-bouquet period, which, alas, is impossible for the whole married life, except perhaps with mistresses. Negative experience of marriage of parents. As a child, he was very upset by the divorce of his parents or their quarrels. Infantilism. The tendency to seek only pleasure in life, to live one day, to shift responsibility, not to work on duty, to blame others for one’s problems. Undecided: “I love you, but I look like I’ll look again.” And one day he will go and look. Mother’s son. For him, there is only one ideal woman — his mother, to whom he feels the most tender affection. He has sex with other women, but his heart forever belongs only to his mother. An imperious, freedom-loving man is an egoist who has his own desires and independence in the first place. He does not want to marry one, because he loves many women, almost all. And you are one of them, but you were not and will not be the only one. Counterdependence, an unconscious fear of close relationships that comes from childhood and attachment disorders. A creative individual who believes that the bonds of marriage and commitment are detrimental to his genius. For a musician, writer, artist, photographer, the muse is important. But today — one, and tomorrow — may be another. Fear of losing freedom. Maybe the sons of domineering and controlling mothers. Doubts of a man and at the same time pressure from a woman, friends, parents. The stronger the pressure, the more you want to fight back. Or run away altogether, to be left alone to deal with their doubts. Different views on the future. For example, she wants children, and he is childfree. Different sexual constitution, sexual temperament and/or preferences. The most banal reason is that he doesn’t love you. Or fell out of love. He is comfortable with you, you are comfortable, you do not require much. Such relationships can continue by inertia until he falls in love with another. One or more items may match from this list. When a man marries against his will, the reasons why he did not want to marry will not disappear. They escalate in marriage. Like a ticking time bomb. The result of the explosion can be quarrels, betrayals, addiction (for example, alcoholism, computer games or workaholism), outbursts of anger and accusations, aggression towards a child, behavior in an evil and contrary to your wishes, psychosomatic illnesses, problems in the sexual sphere, depression, reluctance to do something for the wife, children, for the house, unwillingness to earn money and spend on the family. Fighting for love is the same as drinking alcohol for health and fighting to the death for peace. Do you feel conflicted? But many women continue to fight for their happiness and hope that if they try and be patient a little more, the husband will change. They pull everything on themselves, support a family, life, raise children, save a husband. In other cases, there is a divorce, division of property, custody of children, alimony. In my opinion, a disproportionate price for the selfish desire to tie a man to her. By forcing a man to be with you against his will, you doom yourself, your husband, and your children to an unhappy life. To think that a man will change and eventually fall in love with a woman whom he did not want to marry is very presumptuous. You cannot force a man to love you. But you can choose a man who will love you and want to create a happy strong family with you. Therefore, you need to work on yourself, and not on relationships with a man who does not want to marry. With scenarios of choosing a partner and building relationships, with self-worth, female identity, heal childhood traumas. Why is it so difficult for some women to let go of a loved one and want to resort to any tricks to get a man to marry?
Women who were not given the right to choose in childhood are prone to such behavior — they were told what to do, forced and crushed by authority, ignored emotions and needs, did not pay attention to the wishes of the child. “Do what you are told”, “No one asked you, it’s still small to have your own opinion.” In adulthood, such a girl becomes: Or a very “comfortable” woman — an “eternal girl”, who continues to “obey” others, like parents, and deserve their love. Deep down, she feels that she is not worthy of love and happiness. Or vice versa, a woman who herself manipulates, ignores the desires of others, presses and demands to do what she wants, behaves selfishly and authoritatively towards people. Such women repeat the scenario of their parents’ behavior, even if they promised themselves “never to be like their mother”, because they did not see any other behavior. Another reason why a woman wants to marry a man is emotional dependence. When a woman does not feel valuable, self-sufficient, complete without a man. It seems to her that without her beloved she will not survive — in the truest sense of the word. Here are some more signs of emotional addiction: constant fear of losing a partner, fear of being abandoned; all thoughts about him and about him: what he did, said, thought; constant anxiety, desire to control, surveillance of a man in social networks; trips to fortune tellers, tarologists, astrologers in the hope and search for guarantees that you will be with him forever; craving for problematic men and a willingness to melt a cold heart, heal emotional wounds and save from addiction; giving up your interests, friends and immersion in the life of a man. A woman follows his interests, adheres to his opinion, does what he wants; a fusion in which the boundaries of personality are erased, the self disappears and there is only “we”. A woman perceives herself only in conjunction with her beloved. Without him, she’s like nobody. If he does not marry her, it seems to her that she will not love anyone else, that no one will love her, that she will never marry. The saddest thing is that the personality of an emotionally dependent woman is really destroyed. She lets a man wipe his feet. And he can find any excuse for his actions: “He would like to marry me, but he has circumstances”, “If I find him in bed with another, I will pretend that I have not seen anything”, “Here I will lose weight, make a career, buy apartment and then he will definitely marry me. He won’t marry because he doesn’t want to. Remember, dear girls, girls, women! If a man wants, then he will call even from Mars. If he wants to meet with you, he will find time in the busiest schedule. If a man does not call or calls rarely, if he keeps the relationship at a distance, if he does not come, then he is simply not interested. It’s enough for him. Is this attitude enough for you? Emotional dependency is very painful. Marriage will not solve this problem.
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