If there’s anything in the world that we don’t need more of — it’s a damn selfie stick.


As I walk down the streets of Seattle — especially on weekends — I notice an increasingly common trait amongst the people that I see around me…

The trait is that all these damn tourists nowadays have selfie sticks!

You know them — they’re the strange, extendable rods that people put their phones on so that they can get a little more reach when attempting to take a “selfie”.

Aside from thinking that selfies are pretty stupid to begin with, the fact that an actual product was invented to help make taking selfies even easier to do is just awful.

Pretty damn accurate, I’d say…

I mean, what has humanity come to if this is what we’re spending our valuable time on this planet trying to figure out — how to take the best looking selfie.

Selfie sticks are just a weird thing to have in your possession. They’re quite easy to spot considering that if someone is carrying one, they’re most likely waving it about their bodies trying to capture the most selfish selfie possible.

All I’m saying is that, for $20+, I’m not going to be buying a metal rod that extends and bends to hold my phone for a better picture. That’s what my arms are for, for God’s sake!

In my opinion, there are plenty of other things that I’d rather spend $20 on. I’d probably buy $20 worth of ghost chili peppers and eat them before I spent $20 on a selfie stick.

At least that way I’d have something worthwhile to take a selfie of.

If you have issues with having short arms and you simply can’t take a selfie because you can get the phone out in front of you enough on your own, then go ahead, buy a selfie stick.

You’re the type of person that these strange inventions were made for!

I, on the other hand, am a decently tall (6' 3") individual with fairly long arms. I am not the type of person that needs a selfie stick to take great selfies, despite the fact that I hardly take any selfies at all.

But, the question that you have to ask yourself is whether or not you want to play a role as a part of the generation that uses even more of our finite resources on this planet to produce a device that acts like an extended arm and assists you taking a cheesy photo.

If you’re fine with contributing to this problem and looking like a dumbass while doing it, then go ahead and buy a selfie stick.

Just know that I’ll probably end up making fun of you at some point.

The Rating: 18/100

Pro: I guess if it helps to improve on the selfie, then it can’t be that bad, can it?

Con: Selfies are stupid and that bad to begin with, so a device made to enhance a selfie is only more stupid, right? Right.


About me:

My name is Jack Russillo and I’m a college freshman who just moved to the big city (Seattle) from a small town in the middle of nowhere. Every day I rate something on a scale of 1 to 100.

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