Jack’s Rating: Table Runners


My name is Jack Russillo and I’m a college freshman who just moved to the big city (Seattle) from a small town in the middle of nowhere. Every day I rate something on a scale of 1 to 100.

I hardly knew what a table runner was until my sister brought one out for the holidays.

It’s like the skinniest blanket you’d ever put on a table. Really just an extra small table cloth. It’s about a foot or so wide and it gets in the way more than anything else on the table. Sure, it stretches across the whole table and makes everything more slippery than it should be. Isn’t that inconvenient?

I get why they’re made and used. They’re fancy and traditional. They look decent, at best. But they don’t serve any real purpose except for getting in the way of eating a hearty meal.

And don’t worry, most table runners have a string with a ball at the end of it that could easily be a fun thing for a cat to mess with. Wouldn’t that be terrible if a cat pulled on something that had a full Christmas meal delicately placed on it?

I sense a Christmas disaster in someone’s future…

Jack’s Rating: 14/100

Pro: They used to look cool back in the 1950's, probably.

Con: They’re pointless. Table runners should just run away and never return.

Comments, criticisms, your own rating, or any other topics you’d like me to rate? Tweet me @jackrussillo or follow me on Medium to get my daily posts.

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