The NBA Head Coach Attractiveness Index
The Top 5 Hottest NBA Coaches
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By Jack Showers | Jan 16th, 2020 12:44pm EST
The advanced analytics movement has been heating up in NBA over past decade. However it’s never been hotter than it is right now.
Advanced metrics have finally given us the ability to definitively determine who the NBA’s most attractive coaches are. Using four critical attractiveness variables the top-five hottest NBA head coaches have been ranked below.
Methodology
A coaches’ score* on the index is determined by four different scientific criteria:
Handsomeness (40%)- the physical attractiveness of a coach.
Suit Game (20%)- the coaches court-side fashion.
Coaching Ability (20%)- the coaches career success. This variable is essential in determining how attractive someone is as an NBA head coach.
Sauce (20%)- essentially, the coaches swagger. Consider this to be an “x-factor”. Please click for a brief explanation of sauce.
*All scores are relative to the total NBA head coach population.
Honorable Mentions
Many great candidates did not make the top-five. Namely, Erik Spoelstra, Brad Stevens and Luke Walton. I wish them luck in future lists and many more years of handsomeness to come.
5. Lloyd Pierce - Atlanta Hawks
Handsomeness: 32/40
Suit Game: 14/20
Coaching Ability: 9/20
Sauce: 16/20
Total: 71
Pierce brings a lot to the table. He’s tall, in great shape and a sharp dresser. Also, he has earned his reputation as a “players coach”, giving him a high sauce score.
His coaching record is his only weak spot but it’s quite a significant flaw. He has a dismal 37.6 W/L%.
But look at him. . .
4. Steve Kerr — Golden State Warriors
Handsomeness: 24/40
Suit Game: 12/20
Coaching Ability: 18/20
Sauce: 18/20
Total: 72
He played with Michael Jordan, constantly mocks the media and is an eight time NBA champion. At this point his blood type is pretty much champagne, making him just about as saucy as it gets.
As a former Coach of the Year, Kerr also gets major points in the Coaching Ability category, with a 73.7 W/L%. . . thanks Steph.
3. Kenny Atkinson — Brooklyn Nets
Handsomeness: 28/40
Suit Game: 16/20
Coaching Ability: 14/20
Sauce: 15/20
Total: 73
Atkinson can usually be found wearing a supremely cool black suit + black tie combo, matching the Nets uniforms. He’s well rounded throughout the categories and everything you want in a attractive coach. Although. . .
2. Ryan Saunders — Minnesota Timberwolves
Handsomeness: 36/40
Suit Game: 19/20
Coaching Ability: 8/20
Sauce: 12/20
Total: 75
Hands down the best dressed and best looking NBA coach. Only his lacklustre team performance, and understated personality hold him back from being first in the ranking.
1. Quin Snyder — Utah Jazz
Handsomeness: 32/40
Suit Game: 14/20
Coaching Ability: 15/20
Sauce: 19/20
Total: 80
Synder has a chaotic energy that I find to be extremely sexual. He carries this passion into his coaching and on-court style. I suspect his suits are always good because he has long since murdered all of the bad tailors in Utah.
With high scores in each category, Snyder is the NBA’s most attractive coach.
For more, read my last story.
Where you can find Jack
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Email | @alloffensebasketball@gmail.com
