Swearing: A Cursery Review

Ever since entering the sixth grade, I’ve learned a lot of fucking cuss words. My world has become more vibrant and shit, and there’s no turning back now, asshole. Hunter taught me fucker, Jessika told me about flipping the bird, and my mom said god dammit at the dinner table, which pretty much gives me free fucking reign to bring the cusses whenever I damn hell want.

Shit, cursing is like painting with the colors turned up to fucking 11.

My dad says that a lot, “turned up to 11". Also and now I get the respect I damn deserve at school. I’ll say to Bryson, “here’s your fucking pencil, thanks for letting me borrow that fucker” and then Bryson will be like “oh, you’re welcome, Jack!”

This damn shit works like mother fucking magic.

I’m discovering new damn words everyday. Yesterday we watched a movie at Audra’s house where a guy said “you rat bastard!” It was awesome and I’m definitely gonna add it to my crap-ertoire, as the French should say.

Another thing I learned is when you cuss you can say “pardon my French”, so I guess I’m learning a lot of fucking French this year too.

All in all, fuck. I love swearing because I fucking love to learn shit and hone my goddamn craft at. Assuming my mom doesn’t rip this up before it reaches publication, fuck you and thank you for reading this fucking shit.

Self-portrait of the author.