Our Motivations and The Enneagram
I recently came across this quote by Suzanne Stabile, author of “The Path Between Us,”
“Your Enneagram number is determined by your motivation, not your behavior.”
This is such an important point to remember as we find our type and begin to grow. We often look to our behavior to find our type, or we focus on others’ behavior to see what type THEY are. This can lead to a whirlwind of processing that never really comes to an accurate result.
The greater determining factor in finding our type is our motivation. What is the underlying reason for our behavior? If we procrastinate, are we trying to avoid the pain of doing something “boring”? If we isolate, are we doing so because we must not let others see our current emotions, pain, or failings?
A great way to discover what motivates us is to find out what messages we tell ourselves. These can often be subtle, or even hidden in our subconscious, but if we pay attention they start to reveal themselves. The messages to look for consist of words like “should,” and “must.” Here are some examples…
“I shouldn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable,” (could be an internal message of a type 9)
“My coworkers should stop failing me,” (could be an internal message of a type 1)
“I must take care of everything myself.” (could be an internal message of a type 8)
One of the great modern psychologists, Dr. Albert Ellis, came up with “3 Musts” that can help us with this further. There are many variances within each, but these are the 3 major “Musts”…
1) I must do well and win the approval of others or else I am no good.
2) Other people must “do the right thing” or else they are no good and deserve punishment.
3) Life must be easy, without discomfort or inconvenience.
Take some time this week to listen to the messages playing in your head. Identify which “Must” category appears the most, and keep this in mind as you identify (and explore) your type.
For more info about how the Enneagram can help you find clarity in who you are and how you can grow,
- visit jbclarity.com
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References:
“3 Musts”: http://www.rebtnetwork.org/library/musts.html
Suzanne Stabile Quote: https://thelearnerscornerpodcast.simplecast.fm/ (Episode 070)
