Right on Cue: a Taylor Swift Apple Music Fanfic

Preface: As soon as the news broke on Sunday I knew something about Apple’s public tiff with Taylor Swift seemed fishy, even choreographed. So I did some digging, leaned on some sources, and managed to get my hands on these personal emails between Swift and Apple exec Eddie Cue dated just before she published her public letter online. The evidence pretty much speaks for itself…

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from: Eddie Cue <[email protected]>

to: Taylor Swift [email protected]

date: Sun, Jun 21, 2015 at 5:03 AM

subject: quick favor?

Taytay! hope i’m not waking you up. need a quick favor if you have a few minutes re: apple music

Eddie Cue,
Senior vice president of Internet Software and Services
Apple inc.
1 Infinite Loop Cupertino, CA 95014

RE: quick favor?
From Taylor to Eddie

no problem eddie. just hanging with a few special friends after a late night out in ny, where i live. how can i help?

❤ ❤ ❤

taylor

RE: quick favor?
From Eddie to Taylor:

it’s a long story, but tl;dr we’re a little worried about this whole free trial controversy. first that washed up rocker called us out for threatening to kick him off iTunes. then Adele refused to sign up. we need to backtrack on the whole not paying for free streams thing, but without making it look like we were ever the bad guys

RE: quick favor?
From Taylor to Eddie

makes sense, so what do you need me for? you know i can’t let you stream 1989. it’s still making WAY too much money in album sales

btw nice dance moves at wwdc. when can i see the live show?

RE: quick favor?
From Eddie to Taylor:

hahaha. you couldn’t handle this dadbod, but maybe i’ll take you dancing one weekend if you don’t already have plans with spiegel

anyway, no worries about 1989. all we need is for you too make some sort of thoughtful response in public. convince Apple to see reason! stand up for the little guy!!!!! blah blah blah etc etc

RE: quick favor?
From Taylor to Eddie

very clever ;) guess that’s why they call you mister fix it… so what should i say? i’d ask one of my songwriters to help but they’re all busy this weekend

oh, and don’t worry about evan. that whole thing didn’t even last 24 hours

RE: quick favor?
From Eddie to Taylor:

no problem, just copy and paste this, but don’t forget to add in your own beautiful voice

[Editor’s note: Sorry, I couldn’t find the actual attachment]

RE: quick favor?
From Taylor to Eddie

it’s up on tumblr. anything else i can do for you…

RE: quick favor?
From Eddie to Taylor:

i can think of a couple, but for now just need you to RT a few tweets. oh, and if anyone asked we just had a very serious phone conversation ;)

also, you can expect to see plenty of royalties once the new iTunes Radio goes live. we’ll be flooding Beats 1 with your music :)

RE: quick favor?
From Taylor to Eddie

thanks bb! let’s just hope no one ever sees these emails. please tell me you’re using something safer than iCloud

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Disclaimer: This is obviously parody intended solely for entertainment, dummies.