The warriors are good. That much we know for sure. But what do we really know about Klay Thompson — the sharpshooting, record-breaking wunderkind?

In what some sports reporters are calling the “biggest sporting scandal since Sepp Blatter and before that when Lance Armstrong went bad”, it’s recently been theorized that Klay Thompson may be the product of a fringe skunk-works project by progressive EA Sports engineering team, 2kBLAM, located in nearby Redwood City, California.

Though widely believed to have played college basketball for Washington State, when questioned about their season together teammate Caleb Forrest responded, “Klay who?”

It’s a familiar refrain. Further investigation has led to the following statements from coaches and teammates:

I think anyone would agree, a thorough perusal of Klay’s wikipedia page leaves a lot of open questions in your mind , but you gotta love that jumpshot.
— Steve Kerr

Sometimes it feels like he glitches when we high five. — Stephen Curry

Where’d this guy come from? I grew up playing basketball with a few Thompson boys out in Lake Oswego, but honestly, unless he was Boo Radley, I don’t think Klay Thompson existed until a few years ago.
— Kevin Love

Speech and diction analytics from Thompson’s post-game interviews are also indicative of something fishy going on. Based on all 14 minutes of ESPN interview footage, Thompson’s total vocabulary consists of only 40 words, all spoken within a 7-note range (Note: even Dennis Rodman and Charles Barkley clocked in at over 60 total vocabulary words over two octaves).

EA Sports declined to comment on the specifics of their 2kBLAM team, but did make it clear that their mission is to “push the limits of virtual sports”, implying that this is likely not a unique case of a computer-generated, bio-printed athlete. Similar investigations are being conducted on other suspicious all-stars (most notably Anthony Davis’ unibrow — which sports reporter Carl Mallone wrote about in his article “A Bug In EA Sport’s Avatar? More Like a Caterpillar!”).

Thoughts from legendary coach Phil Jackson are relevant:

You can never be too skeptical. After Space Jam, I had to sit Michael down and have a serious talk about what was real and what wasn’t. I was thinking, ‘That stretchy arm thing could win us another championship!’ but he kept trying to convince me it was all special effects. Who’s to say?
-Phil Jackson

Some are even going so far as arguing that Klay’s recent concussion scare was really just a cover up for a software update back at the Redwood City EA Sports lab before the championship series starting this Thursday. If that’s the case, it may be even harder to pick out the nuances that betray the algorithmically-perfected deep tres and post-game commentary.

Whatever the case, man or genetically-engineered super-baller, we’ll be watching.