How my morning coffee helped me go live on Facebook... In a strangers jacket!

I am very confident person in many ways. I consider myself outgoing and I easily chat with people in group settings. But I have a secret. I feel out of place at professional networking events. Approaching people I don’t know and making conversation and exchanging business cards and then find a way in which we can each help each other feels… awkward

I have been learning better ways to have these conversations and have them feel more natural. That means that right now I am learning and even less confident with having these conversations.

The other thing that I am not confident with is Facebook Live. I mean, that is me out there for the world to see … LIVE! unedited. So how did these two things happen on the same evening?

As I was preparing notes for my webinar on empowering ourselves with confidence I couldn’t help feeling like a hypocrite. I was scheduled to go to a networking event later that evening and reasons why I couldn’t go were presenting themselves. I was having a confidence crisis. One thing I have learned is that anytime you don’t want to do something, reasons not to will present themselves, and the solution to those problems will seem elusive.

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” — Jim Rohn

The way I got back on the confidence track was quite serendipitous. During a presentation by Matthew of LGBTQ entreprenuer, he challenged us to stretch our confidence in a small way. For instance, ask the barista for a 10% discount on your coffee drink.

I headed straight to Starbucks and after chatting comfortably with a stranger in line I asked the young woman behind the register if I could get a discount. I wish I had a video of her face as the question landed for her and she said “remind me why exactly??!!” I told just because I showed the previous customer how useful their app is.

A few minutes later I walked out with my coffee drink 10 % discounted…

So what does something like that do? Asking for something that you wouldn’t usually makes you step out of your comfort zone. It allows you to experience the adrenaline of doing that and still go through with it. While I was not feeling too challenged to ask for a discount, I did feel elated by it afterwards.

The power of the small action catapulted several larger actions though. I got to my coworking spot and sent out several emails I had been dreading to send. I got immediate responses that were supportive and mutually beneficial. And I decided I would go to the event.

I went to the networking event later on. They had a game organized to help us deepen connections with the people there which I glanced at. Challenges like, connect with them on Linked-in, write them a Yelp review, or do a facebook live with someone at the event. As I was putting the game away since that seemed overwhelming. I started a conversation almost immediately with a gentleman who peeled away from a small group and somehow wound up trying on the guys jacket. Once you do that, you might as well do facebook live to boot. So I appeared live on Facebook wearing a strangers jacket. It looked good on me too.

The small action that boosted my confidence propelled me forward. Almost like an antidote to the adrenaline I was feeling to move through the things that were feeling challenging. So I will be looking for small ways to act while feeling the racing hearth and sweaty palms so that I can be more courageous in going after my dreams.

And if you are interested in creating more confidence in your life, I am presenting a webinar hosted by fairfunders. Details on my website or at

The facebook live is at