Goal Setting in Times of Uncertainty

by: Jacki Carr

When I introduce myself as a goals coach to people out in the World, they crinkle their noses and ask for more info, “like a life coach?” they always say.

In which I respond, “no, I am not a life coach. I coach people on their goals they set for themselves to live a life of their own design. I believe with the right set of tools and accountability, everyone can be their own life coach”.

And then usually follows their perspective on goal setting. They are usually in one of two houses, the goal setter house or the goal hater house.

The goal setters usually like the conversation and even share a goal they are working on. The goal haters very gracefully and sometimes brutally cut the conversation short telling me they hate goals and don’t set them, the end.

Both are great and I respect the hell out of both of those houses. I have actually lived in both houses once before.

I know the goal hater house because I used to hate goals. I did not want to be narrow minded with my goals. “I wanted to flow in life”, I would say. And the truth was, I had a bad taste in my mouth with goals as I had seen them as a measuring stick to success, to promotions, to being validated in my work life and in my life life.

However, I reside in the goal setter house these days and have been a long time resident. I love goal setting, I love goal failing, I love re-setting goals and coaching the goals.

And here is why: I now know goals are my intentions in action. Goals are my unique gifts and contributions declared in written form. Goals are the call to action so that I live beyond the to do list. Goals are expansion of the self in forms of curiosity meeting a finish line. Goals I where I grow.

This is where I catch a lot of people off guard.

I do not believe in one solid definition for goals — one size does not fit all as one definition does not support all. I truly encourage that you write your own definition so that the language can continue to serve you.

I now define goals as:
Requests we make of ourselves, another and the Universe to tip in to the next iteration of self, to evolve into who we are becoming and check in to see if we are designing our days, our lives or if some else is.

And this was a key for me to leave the goal hater house.

I had to define and set goals my way.

My goals create possibility, my goals make me sweat and create a bit of fear and excitement all at the same time. My goals feel big and real, some lofty some grounded. My goals request of me to change, grow and expand. My goals are aligned to my values and what I vision for the World. And never ever have I known the exact way to achieve my goals. This is the kicker for a lot of my TYPE A people who love answers and control (cough, this is most humans).

Give it a try.
How do you define the word goal?
In your own language.
In your own life.

As we are entering a time in our lives we have never been before, some of us might be in waiting mode until things normalize, until we normalize. Some of us might have a rule we set that goals can only be set when we are stable and sound in mind, body and globe. (Author’s Notes: We make up rules for ourselves to live by and often forget to check in to see if the rules still serve us or are even our own rules for living or someone else’s?). Some of us might feel fear and goals written in fear create more fear, they say. And some of us are relying on old goals, old ways in hope that it will all shake out.

Here is the deal, I never even wrote about the Coronavirus or COVID-19. I did not mention it up there. Because whenever someone is reading this, they are most definitely entering a time in their lives they have never been before.

Heraclitus said “The only constant in life is change”.

We are always in a state of change, evolution, disruption or expansion.
We don’t move backwards, time keeps on keepin’ on.
And so do we.

Therefore, when in our lives have we ever actually set goal in times of certainty?

I will tell you…
Never.
Never have we ever.

Because there is no. such. thing.

Take a moment to flip back in the book pages of your life. Tell me when you set a goal and had the exact road map to get there? When have you known every one of the moments that would lead to the finish line?

I’ll wait.

The beauty of goal setting is writing and declaring the goal and then go living your life to see how it will happen. You are open to receiving, open to meeting someone that will be a key to making that goal a reality, open to the pivot, open to the delete button, open to educating yourself so that you are ready to make that goal a reality or let it go— like Maya Angelous says ‘Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better”. This is being alive!

Goals are set and written in a matter of space and time.
Usually tinted with hope, possibility and seeds of action.

The format I use is one of affirmative language in the present tense with an accountability date. I am ________ by when ___(date)____.

An example:
I create an online school of goal setting by December 25, 2020.

I am the one creating the school and there is a clear date there to get me into action this year, not next year or later or maybe or some day. By Christmas 2020, so clear.

As you explore this time in your life that you are entering, that you woke up in today, that you are leaning into, know that you are learning. You will never have all the answers or the control.

How boring if we did.

You do have choice in what you want to do with your time, and what you want to do with your own unique gifts you have to offer. I find creating goals creates inspiration in my to do list, my to be list and creates an openness in me to possibility. Especially in days that feel weird, awkward, different than what they were two months ago, I am still here on purpose with purpose.

Are you?