1/30/17

I had a good day. Monday’s have become my favorite day of the week. I almost always have the day off of work which keeps me always looking forward to the time spent with my daughter, but mostly I feel relaxed because I’ve eliminated some completely unnecessary drama from my life. The fact of the matter is, I can’t do drama. I know a lot of people say that, but I really fucking mean it. It stresses me out and wears me down. It’s not fun. Its not entertaining. I don’t like the negative attention. I’m gullible and am not quick to see things objectively. I’ve got a hot temper. It messes with my head and gets me stuck in ego and blah, blah, blah. I like when things are pure and simple. Call me sensitive, I’ll be the first to admit it’s true. I’m a highly sensitive, overly emotional, peaceful being- and I’d like to keep it that way. I’m not going to compete to keep people wondering what’s going to happen next in my life. I really don’t need to. The shit storms always seem to find me anyways.

Now, that I can step away and have a look at the situation objectively, I can admit that maybe I was wrong. That boy that I’ve been seeing in my dreams for the last year, probably actually isn’t my twin flame. We’re probably not going to get married and he’ll probably never live up to the potential that I see in him. Haha, you see how had to throw those “probably’s” in there? I ain’t given up hope quite yet. Hell no. I just stopped letting him play me. The thing I don’t get is, if he is such a fuckin drama queen, and not just that but just a two timing asshole, then how come he couldn’t even take a little taste of truth? Ya know what, I just answered my own question. That actually makes perfect sense, I just don’t want to see it for what it really is yet. Ah, acceptance- I always seem to forget about that route. Anyways, I’m exhausted and it’s bed time. Good night.

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