5 Best Ways to Eliminate Performance Anxiety
There is nothing more normal and human than performance anxiety. Nearly all men have had frequent or occasional bouts of sexual dysfunction such as premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety throughout their life. Though many men bounce back almost immediately, others are more prone to becoming stuck in unwanted thoughts about it and unwittingly creating an ongoing cycle of sexual failure.
Many men have battled with ED (weak erections) from their early twenties. This condition was made worse by the fact that on a physical level, men are supposed to be in a stage of life where their testosterone levels were their highest and they should be able to have long lasting erections. This can make a man feel like a sexual failure and after a while he may start avoiding sexual contact with anyone due to fear of not being able to perform properly.
Whether you or your partner is the one who suffer from sex problems, here are 5 best ways that help to eliminate performance anxiety:
1. Tell Your Partner About It
Many women are confused as to why their partner can’t last long enough and don’t understand the mental mechanics involved in performing the sexual act. Although it can be challenging communicating the issue to your partner it’s one of the best things you can do to ease performance anxiety. Otherwise, the mental block you have from the pressure you are putting on yourself makes matters worse by causing an emotional divide between you and your spouse.
To gain more confidence in resolving this issue, stop keeping all your fears and worries to yourself and involve your partner in working toward an optimal outcome. By verbalizing what’s going in your mind to your partner, you’ll be able to ease your anxieties and simultaneously strengthen your emotional bond.
Confidence is king in a relationship. Reassure your partner that it’s a temporary issue and that with the right knowledge and procedure you’ll be able to figure it out with her support — it might just take some practice.
You’ve got to question being in a relationship with someone who refuses to support you.
2. Slow Down Your Foreplay
Many men honed massively unproductive masturbation habits in their youth. They became aroused to an external stimulus (often porn) and masturbated to the point of ejaculation as quickly as possible to avoid having their family members walk in on them. This method of sexual exploration did not teach him how to last longer.
While fast and frequent masturbation is considered by most sex experts to be a cause of premature ejaculation, on a biological level, the default ejaculation program completes within a minute. This is to ensure procreation of the species. Even though sex has evolved to become a more recreational form of reconnecting and strengthening a relationship and a longer lasting time frame is both expected and appreciated by both partners, many men don’t know the mechanics required to last longer during sex.
There’s a widespread epidemic of erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation and females being unable to achieve orgasm because the mental and emotional mechanics of sex aren’t taught in sex education.
Foreplay is a way of preparing either or both partners for sexual intercourse. If a man already has a hard erection then he doesn’t need to receive foreplay to prepare him for intercourse, he’s ready to go. Receiving direct stimulation at this point can take him over the edge. Conversely, giving too much foreplay to his partner can cause him to lose his erection. It’s all about balancing his sexual focus during foreplay which gives him more control over his arousal response.
3. Stop Fighting the Fact That You’re Anxious
The quickest way to rush towards ejaculation is by trying not to think about ejaculating and how stimulating your partner is. Similarly but for different reasons, it’s also the fastest way to lose your hard erection.
When anxious thoughts trigger an emotional response, holding your breath, breathing quickly or taking shallow breaths further tenses your body and distracts you from maintaining correct sexual focus. Like a sneeze, anxiety and other emotional responses are a normal part of being human, so stop fighting the physical discomfort of it when you feel triggered and it will pass within seconds.
4. Focus More on Your Pleasure
Well… this has to be implemented at the right time otherwise it will cause you to ejaculate before you or your partner are ready. Focusing on your own pleasure moves you up the arousal scale which is great to improve erection hardness but it won’t help you control ejaculation.
Being too focused on your partner is a prime example of disassociating yourself from your body and it’s natural arousal response. Remember that sex is about both partners, not just about one — and remember to include yourself in your awareness of sexual feeling.
5. Focus More on Your Partner
This is where it gets tricky and why it is so important to know how to balance your sexual focus. Focusing on your partner naturally gives you more arousal control. So if you suffer from premature ejaculation, start focusing more of your energy and attention on your partner during foreplay and intercourse, especially if the thought of receiving pleasure makes you nervous.
When you feel overstimulated, perform oral sex, give your partner a massage or just hold, kiss and cuddle them for an extended period of time. Putting less focus on yourself will help you relax during sexual play.
If you start losing your erection hardness it indicates that you are putting too much attention on your partner and need more awareness of your own pleasure.
Often, we see stallion-like men in porn films with increased sexual stamina that helps them to last for hours on end without stopping, when in reality these porn stars use erection enhancing drugs and numbing creams!
Remember that sex isn’t a performance to excel in but an experience to be shared. Having unrealistic expectations in your mind about what you’re supposed to do in bed is one of the main reasons for performance anxiety.
Let go of your unrealistic expectations and take more time to enjoy the sexual act. By utilising these 5 ways to help eliminate your performance anxiety you and your lover can restore a deeply satisfying sex life.