On turning 30

So I’m turning 30 in less than two weeks, and by this age you’re supposed to have it all figured out, or so I thought I would have, but turns out I know a little more than John Snow right now.

Jokes apart, society’s pressure for having your act together really got me for the past couple of months, I don’t usually fall for this, but I guess I’m just getting old after all. As the good overthinking-analyzer that I am, I decided to go down the rabbit hole and give a good think of what success really is, and after spending an awful lot of time reading and thinking about it, I came up with a few conclusions.

We’re bombarded daily with what success looks like: the money, the glory, the thousands of followers on social media, the influential friends, the design magazine house/wardrobe/lifestyle, the workaholic life that leaves little time to think about what’s really important.

We’re visual beings, we need to see the success in order to believe in it. But how about the part we don’t see? What goes inside our crazy minds at the end of the day, when we’re alone with our thoughts, and put away our phones? (Crazy right?! We do that sometimes!) Are you successful inside as well?

So here is where things started getting interesting. As I went deeper down the rabbit hole, I started questioning my own standards for success, because we’re very good at judging others, but not so quick at looking back at ourselves. I like to think of myself as an almost free of prejudice kind of person, (let’s be honest here, we’re all judgmental at some level), but was I being caught up on the delusional idea of success after all? And the quite obvious answer to that is yes.

So I looked back to find the exact point where I got carried away into thinking/feeling I was not successful, (by messed up society’s standards, not mine).

I moved from Brazil to New Zealand last year, with this crazy idea of reinventing myself (topic for another medium), changing career and the ultimate goal to find myself, whatever that means, but that’s easier said than done, and before I realized I was doing everything as I always have, including looking for a job, and after countless, frustrated attempts, I decided to woman up, and do what I came here to do. Embrace the change.

And with that change in mind, I consider myself very successful. I’ve faced a few of my deamons, managed to stay sane during a visa process, I have been working with things that I love, unpaid, but very fulfilling, I’m living in a gorgeous city, Christchurch, that has thought me so much about resilience and rebuilding, I’m surrounded by inspiring people, and I could write all day about the things that I’m grateful/feel blessed for, which comes to my conclusion about success: the old cliché of counting all you have that money can’t buy.

So yeah, after all I’m very successful and getting older never felt so good.

How successful are you?