I left you, but you left me hollow

You’ve turned my heart to ice

Or maybe my heart is the empty ice tray

Long forgotten, hollow, shoved to the dark corners

My life has become a shell of the love

I once defined myself through

Yet I have learned to doubt the words of men,

Now all I can ever feel is the emptiness that follows

contrived intimacy with strangers

I meet, 2 minutes later I’m in their sheets

After, I run far, far away

So they won’t ever get the chance to know me like you did

No longer can I make space in my heart

Since you still fill it up

Past due the notice of eviction

Yet I’m not ready for that vacant space

I hate myself for loving you

Even after all that you put me through

You manipulative son of bitch

You haunt my dreams in the dead of night

I wake up in a cold sweat

Fearing that you’re still by my side

Why did you do this to me

I still feel like you’re mine

I still wake up thinking about you

Every man I kiss, I think of you

But the truth is that I don’t really love you

And I don’t know if I ever really did

Maybe I just loved the idea of you

I know for a fact you never loved me

With your shallow attention and words that cut

Deeper than can ever be healed

Crushing any shred of dignity I had

Crushing any scrap of confidence I once possessed

Am I even capable of love

Or did you crush that inside of me too?