Why You Can’t Move On from a Failed Talking Stage — And What to Do About It
You know what they say, time heals all wounds, except for the wounds caused by a failed talking stage. It’s been a year and you’re still hung up on this person. You’ve hit refresh on their social profiles countless times wondering why they aren’t responding, what they’re up to, and how they could have possibly moved on from such a witty, charming and sexually appealing human such as yourself. Smile for the camera, folks.
The Firestarter to Memory Lane
There isn’t a quick answer to why you can’t move on, but there may be a few flames that are keeping the fire burning. When trying to extinguish your feelings towards someone, the best course of action is to figure out why those feelings are still glowing.
Perhaps it’s because you enjoyed the attention they gave you, or maybe it’s the fact that your ego took a hit when they didn’t want you back. Regardless of the reason, if you don’t address it, you’ll continue to burn yourself down.
Scratching the Itch of Attraction
First, focus on the pain that’s caused by the burning feelings you have for this person. It’s natural to want what you can’t have, much like John Mayer’s music. But it’s not healthy to obsess over them, feel sorry for yourself because they’re not interested, or actively pursue a dead end.
Hear me out, striking the match isn’t going to make the forest fire subside. Instead of looking for another match to light, try doing things that you know you’ll enjoy, get on the dating horse again: but aim for a relationship instead of a fling.
Target the Ignition Switch
The next step is to really hit the ignition switch, and analyze what went wrong during the talking stage. Was it something you did? Did you bring your A game? Did you lose your shit? At some point, the attraction to this person was real for a reason.
Try to assess what that reason was, to see if you’re giving too much power to your rejection. Was the spark there all along, and did it just fade? If so, try to reignite it. If not, then it’s time to get back to swiping.
The Endgame
All in all, it’s not unusual to have failed talking stages or failed connections in your life. But, it’s important to not let it consume you. Just like becoming a software engineer, creative director, or an actor required hard work, dedication, and resilience, moving on requires the same skills.
Understand that it’s okay to not always get what you want in life. Remember that your failed connection is a moment in time, not your whole life.
Realize this and you’ll be happier than a kid in a candy store.
In Conclusion
In the end, the best bet is to provide yourself grace and time. Focus on yourself, and be your own best friend. Whether it’s tackling a new hobby or profession, you can’t deny all the wonderful qualities you have.
Hope that helps, but if not, you can always try to break stuff in your house… It’s definitely worked for me.
