Full Moon Feels

Yesterday, was kinda a big day.

Coffee in hand yesterday morning, I prepared to defend my dissertation. My dissertation that I never thought would happen. The one that I’ve been working on for what seemed like forever. The one that — gave me one that that was constant as my outside world shit the bed ten times over.

I was nervous.

Don’t let anyone tell you this process isn’t nerve wracking. While this material was a part of me, was engrained in my head, could have been tattooed on me, I still blanked as I began presenting.

I blanked so bad that I had to apologize, acknowledge that I was nervous and took a two minute time out to pull myself together.

Needless to say, once I got back on the wagon and realized I was actually driving, things went amazingly.

At the end of the presentation, my committee was overly supportive and nurturing, encouraging me to continue with the work I had started.

I took the afternoon off to celebrate in my own way. Retail therapy that I had to cut myself off after 20 minutes because I’m pretty sure I burned a hole in my credit card.

With all the excitement and all the out pouring of support from friends and family, I found myself waking up this morning in a funk.

Going about my routine, making my coffee, opening the blinds, talking to the cats and looking at my to do list, I finally sit down in front of my computer and realize -

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

Yesterday was my finish line. I worked for years on this document and bettering myself and my situation and now it’s done.

What the fuck do I do now?

Suggestions are greatly welcomed and appreciated.

Like what you read? Give jae thomas a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.