Full Moon Feels
Yesterday, was kinda a big day.
Coffee in hand yesterday morning, I prepared to defend my dissertation. My dissertation that I never thought would happen. The one that I’ve been working on for what seemed like forever. The one that — gave me one that that was constant as my outside world shit the bed ten times over.
I was nervous.
Don’t let anyone tell you this process isn’t nerve wracking. While this material was a part of me, was engrained in my head, could have been tattooed on me, I still blanked as I began presenting.
I blanked so bad that I had to apologize, acknowledge that I was nervous and took a two minute time out to pull myself together.
Needless to say, once I got back on the wagon and realized I was actually driving, things went amazingly.
At the end of the presentation, my committee was overly supportive and nurturing, encouraging me to continue with the work I had started.
I took the afternoon off to celebrate in my own way. Retail therapy that I had to cut myself off after 20 minutes because I’m pretty sure I burned a hole in my credit card.
With all the excitement and all the out pouring of support from friends and family, I found myself waking up this morning in a funk.
Going about my routine, making my coffee, opening the blinds, talking to the cats and looking at my to do list, I finally sit down in front of my computer and realize -
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.
Yesterday was my finish line. I worked for years on this document and bettering myself and my situation and now it’s done.
What the fuck do I do now?
Suggestions are greatly welcomed and appreciated.