The juice is not worth the squeeze; why sometimes quitting is heroism.
At a small village street in the northern part of Tanzania, the sun set was showing off its beautiful colorful rays, while a group of Christian kids gathered to play and their clothes muddy and stained, shouted for joy; as if they had already made it to heaven. I was one of them. I hated growing up poor but I loved my childhood.
One by one, we heard our mothers’ voices calling us to go home; it was getting dark. None of us responded; we never wanted to abandon the games we were playing. Mama furiously came to take us (Me and my younger brother) while shouting and yelling. Our heads hanging down, we apologized to mama but we could repeat the same mistake the next day.
Well, that was a story as old as time, but we made mistakes several times, repeated them and that’s what made us as efficient as we are. Mistakes have traveled with me throughout my life journey and I am very grateful for the teachings and experience acquired through them.
But it’s very unfortunate that people will just focus on the minor mistake you do and ignore the big accomplishment you are executing and major dreams you have been holding for the institution and the community. Folks will do everything possible to lower your self-esteem and take you down as trash. A small mistake is made big, a very bad side of you will be heavily preached and they will try to make you feel so poor in everything.
Rise as a kite and beat their plans against all odds. Misery loves company; people will always want to drag you down to their position and situation. People talk behind you because they are already behind. Actually it’s so disappointing, very disappointing but put all trust to the Lord. Experienced guys, folks who have been in the game for years will make deliberate efforts to take you down.
It might be hard to come out stronger after a great strike but find your motivation and keep grinding. Go back home after a hard day and look into your daughters; man that’s your motivation. Your family should be your greatest motivation. Find whatever that will keep you moving to your dreams, be cautioned and understand that people will always fight you because life is a series of battles.
I grew up under a great foundation of Christian faith, being raised up by a humble church pastor who had mastered the art of calmness. Truly, I am still trying to figure it out how a person (like my father) can be so calm in a very difficult situation and smile. I am still learning and I hope that I will one day master that art. Few days ago, a situation at my hustles reminded me of something that my father taught me at a younger age. On our family daily night prayers; dad pointed out that: “Kuna dhambi za kukemea na kuna dhambi za kukimbia; tofautisha kwa uangalifu”. I spent that night after work meditating and in the middle of a meditation I heard a voice of my father uttering those words at a family night prayer gathering. Then I came back to my senses. I am actually grateful to my father for the early childhood mentorship, they say; to make lemonade, you have to start with lemons. Or as Mahatma Gandhi said: “It’s easier to build a boy than mend a man”.
Morgan Scott Peck in his book “The road less traveled” suggests that; Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters. Life is a series of problems. Do we want to moan about them or solve them? Do we want to teach our children to solve them?
We come across different battles and this has reminded me to choose our battles wisely. After all, life isn’t measured by how many times you stood up to fight. It’s not winning battles that makes you happy, but it’s how many times you turned away and chose to look into a better direction. Life is too short to spend it on warring. Fight only the most, most, most important ones, let the rest go. There are times that you will have to attack and tackle a situation but then sometimes you need to quit and stay away from some battles. It’s not cowardliness, but because it’s not worth it and you’ll come out as a hero of the history.
I understand that things become difficult to tackle, you find yourself between a rock and a hard place and lost in the dark of night, but when we learn the art of calmness we learn to choose our battles wisely, we learn to choose “dhambi ya kukemea na dhambi ya kukimbia”. We learn and understand the importance of quitting. We learn to run away from battles that aren’t worth it.
Can you squeeze juice? Definitely NO, it’s not worth it. Then QUIT doing it.
Happy Wednesday!