Migraine Hell

Here I am nearly a year and a half into my daily migraine struggle/saga. I’m currently in the midst of a really bad cycle and it has me on the verge of tears. Following what was two weeks of so many good days — the first in a really long time- makes this cycle so much worse. How do I find the strength to continue this fight?

1 year, 7 months — it’s difficult to see a light at the end of this very long tunnel. Nerve medications, multiple anti-depressants, blood pressure pills, beta blockers, nerve blocks, trigger point injections, botox , CPAP machine— so many pills and needles… so many that I had to buy those daily pill boxes at the CVS pharmacy check-out — DAILY pill boxes!

Now I’m seeing a new specialist — Dr. Jessica Ailani — and she’s offered me hope for the first time. She listens, she understands, and she cares about finding me relief. She’s the first doctor to tell me honestly — my migraines aren’t going away — and I needed to understand that fact and accept it.

Now botox every 12 weeks and trigger point injections or nerve blocks every 6 weeks… that’s the plan. I have a plan and my doctor is confident it will work. I thought it was working after only TWO 12-week apart sessions. It seems that the world conspires against me — either the up and down weather or stress or just the act of waking up in the morning and making breakfast.

With this constant pain, I just want to stay in bed and hide from the world. But I also want to ride my bike to the metro, go to work, and enjoy talking with colleagues and friends. I’m so angry at this condition controlling my life. If you understand what what this feels like, tell me! I’ve recently learned that the migraine community is bigger and more supportive than I imagined. I need help.