Day thirty of 30

Andrés Pérez
Nov 4 · 4 min read

(500 words per day)

Photo by Johannes W

I had a crazy dream of the next President of Ecuador. She was Peruvian. That is an impossibility, but it was my dream, so it was real. It was all convoluted, but it made sense in a strange way. Maybe it was the overconsumption of buffalo wings last night. My stomach churned through my restless sleep. I really need to start taking better care of myself.

During my wing feast yesterday I felt very lonely. I was without friends. I also realized that my goal of writing for 30 days was coming to an end. It felt like I was heading to a funeral. During the meal, I remembered the words I had written during this 30-day exercise. I had learned a lot about myself. The next 30 days were chosen for me out of necessity. I will focus on having a positive attitude. I will be generous. I will be kind. I will let beautiful images fill my mind. I will be the person I have always wanted to be.


On that note, I will step away from these words and continue watching a Masterclass with Joyce Carol Oates on writing a short story. I am a ‘forever’ student. I appreciate that most about myself. I know that learning is the cornerstone of my existence. I must excuse myself for a few minutes now.

I listened to her class. I took the dogs for a walk. I came back and listened to more of her class. I partially listened and napped. My subconscious heard the words. I understood more of what she said in this half state. I smiled at her reading a passage from one of her stories. It was a story that talked about the ‘Maiden and Death’. The protagonist was a woman that matured enough to sacrifice herself willingly to a killer to save her family.

The words were precise and terrifying. The killer soothed the victim into her own death. The passage allowed me to see the true power of words. Something that I have never realized before. I have written to write. I have never written as I paint. A word, a sentence, and a paragraph are as brush strokes. They are to be considered carefully.

While listening to her I imagined scenes in my upcoming film. It is my first feature. There will be shorts before it. But even they now have a different visual life. I finally understand. I understand the reason why a character lives. He or she is the expression of what I think is important. It is not what I think you want to hear, but the message that I want to convey to you.

I have always written to a deaf, dumb, and blind audience. Actually, I have written to a corpse. This is not an insult to you if you are reading these words. This is my apology to you. I have neglected you. I have thought about what was best for you. I have disrespected you.

Authors often speak about reading. And not only reading, but devouring words. I have much reading to do if this is true. I have much to learn. As my next 30 days are about building character. They are about me creating a healthy attitude — a positive outlook on life. I have a lot of homework to do.

Joyce Carol Oates just happened to be my current teacher for my new objective. Her words have stopped me in my tracks. I have to breathe in the air that is here right now. Clear my head of what I think I know and to change the perspective. To let my characters live on the page. I am talking fiction of course. It is what I have always wanted to write. So this is a perfect time to start with a 30-day goal that has nothing to do with writing. And yet, it has to do with the art of me. I am a writer, an artist, and filmmaker.

I conclude my 30 days of writing right now.

I have learned that I have to control my attitude. I have to write as though my heart will go into infarction if I stop. I have to create art as though my brain will have a stroke if I pause. I have to make films as though my eyes will cataract over to blindness if I don’t.

Things atrophy if you stop using them.


👏 if the article did something for you. If not, leave a comment. I am very appreciative of critique.

If you are interested in visual fun — enjoy my YouTube channel.

Andrés Pérez

Written by

I am a designer. I use these skills in my art, writing, and film. My ever-evolving website: perezamigos.com

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