A visual into who you are through your relations
This topic came to my mind because of a conversation I had last night. My close friend Alec, someone who I call a brother, came to me with a problem last night. “I know I’ve grown a lot in the past few months, gotten more serious, and have learned a lot because of Thumoslang and our time together, but my friends have yet to see that, like Andrea. They still treat me like the old Alec, and see me as a very silly and not serious person. I don’t know how to change that, do you have any idea?”
After thinking for a sec, and considering some Thumoslang definitions in my head, I settled on character, which means relational inclinations in Thumoslang.
“People see your character when they see the relations that you share with those around you,” I said, “And so far, I’m guessing you haven’t created any relations with them as the more serious Alec.”
“No, I haven’t, but I’ve been trying to!” Alec stated.
“Well, have you though?” I replied. “You had me help Shira and Andrea involve with each other, but that doesn’t create any new relations between you and Andrea yourself.”
“Well, that’s why I’m asking your for help, because Andrea seems to have more time for you than for me now.” He said, quietly.
“That’s only because her and I involve in a way that is connected to her work. She is a forward and focused person, and doesn’t have a lot of time to hang out just socially.” I replied.
Many aspects of Alec’s character lie invisible to those around him because he hasn’t yet successfully brought them to involve with the deeper aspects of his life. Only able to see the surface of his character, these friends falsely believe he is exactly the same in maturity as he was a few months back.
The relations in your life dictate the story lines that you create. Each relation pulls you one way or another. For people to unlock new aspects of your character, they must be given opportunity to learn about the new relations in your life. Whether that’s by you or someone else telling them stories, or them witnessing the history be created by you and the other person involved in the relation, without access to the new storylines in your life, there is no way to see “in.”
A fun example
The breadth of a relation is why cheating is so difficult to hide. As you create history, there become more and more opportunities for a 3rd party to become privy to the secret storyline. Though you may not want to cause someone else to involve, the moment they do, their every subsequent action is a part of the relation you accidentally forced them into. Now their character comes into question. Do they involve your partner, or hold onto that vital information? All up to their Morals, or personal compass. More on that a different day.