In roughly 37 hours, I’m going to cry

This is an undeniable fact. I was lucky enough to get tickets to see Hamilton way back when there were still a few seats available from the box office. Saturday night I’m going to fulfill a dream a year in the making.

I’m going to bawl. I know I am, because last week I unleashed the waterworks just listening to the soundtrack. “Quiet Uptown” came on, and I couldn’t help myself. But the somewhat surprising thing I found was I didn’t want to help myself.

Every day I grow as a human. As I do this I have come to realize more and more about myself. I realize every day I run the gambit of emotion: from happiness to sadness to loneliness to contentment. I realize these emotions bleed over day after day, piling on to the garbage heap of baggage I’ve been carrying for the last six months. I realize this pile of junk swirls around in my brain, influencing my current mood, preventing me from living today to it’s full potential.

It’s only very recently I’ve come to understand the way these past emotions can affect me. Everything happening to me seems so much more significant when it’s laden with three months of emotional baggage.

But what I just discovered is that there’s an easy way to take out the trash. Like the river Isen cleansing Isenguard of it’s filth, the tears of sadness can release all the stress that has been building up over time. And it feels so good. In a way that can only come from complete uninhibited release of emotion.

And so in 37 hours I’m going to cry. In a very public place. But I don’t care, because I get to release two weeks worth of stress. And my guess is that at least half the audience will be doing it with me.

I wrote this post in the first person, because these are my experiences. Because this is on Medium, I feel like there is also an undercurrent of “this is what I do, and you should too”. But I really don’t want to tell you what to do. I discovered I like to cry; maybe you do too. So if you want to try it, I’ve compiled a short list of media that pulls my heartstrings.

  • The Hamilton soundtrack (duh). As I mentioned “Quiet Uptown” is where it really hits me, but I think it comes from the entire story arc.
  • The ending of Gladiator (because Hans Zimmer swells…)
  • When Evey is reading Valerie’s story in V for Vendetta
  • When Evey tells V she’d rather die behind the woodshed in V for Vendetta
  • When the army stands down before the crowd of peaceful protestors in V for Vendetta
  • Boromir’s redemption to protect Merry and Pippin and subsequent death in The Fellowship of the Ring
  • When Sam carries Frodo in Return of the King
  • When Frodo and Sam talk about strawberries and cream in Return of the King
  • “The Crane Wife 1,2, & 3” by The Decemberists
  • “The A Team” by Ed Sheeran

Want to guess what my favorite movies are?

I don’t write very often. I write more often if I know people like my writing. If you enjoyed this piece heart or comment below so I know people are reading =)