The Perfect Packages to Offer Your Next Client
Or, ‘Why is Everyone a C**t?’
Pricing as a copywriter and finding the best package for your clients can be difficult, so I thought I’d take a few minutes out my day to explore an approach which has (by and large) worked for me thus far.
Here’s the basic packages I like to offer potential clients:
The ‘dog puke’ package
You’ve approached me, balked at the price I quoted you, and are now trying to justify your counteroffer by explaining how your budget doesn’t cover the amount I’m asking for.
You tell me you can find someone cheaper.
Months down the line you suddenly realise the writer you hired for £38 can’t speak any English and is actually a puddle of canine vomit with an internet connection.
The ‘shit head’ package
You successfully negotiate. Congratulations.
“There must be a little wiggle room here?”
I lower my rates because I need the work to feed my dogs that week. Somehow you now think I work for you, despite the fact you’re just a customer.
You are left high and dry when I get tired of texts at 10:30PM asking if the work can be completed by the following morning.
“I hired you, you can’t fire me!”
Yes. We can fire clients. It’s satisfying. Try it.
The ‘compensating for something’ package
The most likely package for clients who’ll ask you to write copy for erectile dysfunction pills, gambling sites, and online trading.
“We don’t need the contract and I’ll pay you through BitCoin. Don’t invoice for this, neither of us want to deal with the taxman.”
This package is for clients who give away minimal details about themselves and their company but still manage to brag about how many drinks they had the weekend before.
Best to just say no to this one straight away, unless you’re beyond desperate. Usually ends up in tears and 50% of your pay disappearing into the ether.
Obviously I can’t go into detail about all of the packages I offer (industry secrets), but here’s a few more: