Mars Trip Cancelled, BLM Activists Cheer

Protesters celebrated last Thursday when it was announced that the government would be cancelling Spacex CEO Elon Musk’s ambitious Martian expedition, in the name of racial equity.

“White people have simply colonized too much, done too much,” explains Furuko Williams, a senior organizer and race activist, who spearheaded the movement to “keep mars indiginous”, some are calling a great leap for racial equality. “They have already colonized the world — we can’t let them colonize the galaxy.”

In the name of fairness and equality, control of Spacex has been transferred to the leaders of the Black Lives Matter movement. On Sunday, they gave a press conference highlighting the company’s new mission:

“Institutional racism is the biggest problem we face in this galaxy, which is why we must keep it contained to just one planet. If we let it go spreading throughout the whole universe, we’ll never be able to get a handle on it. White people got the whole damn Earth, so it’s only fair that people of color get Mars. We need indigenous Martians, not colonizing Martians. Climate change is also a big problem for us, and we aim to keep Martian climate change, and racism, at bay by keeping white people off of the red planet. We aim to make space a safe space for people of color.”

The leaders of Black Lives Matter say they are planning to board a rocket sometime next month, take it for a cruise around the galaxy, and then land it on Mars when they feel like it. They plan to start a new community free of what they call white tyranny. Many believe things are better off this way.