Quitting Day 12 (Spring Forth My Child)

12d 22h 44m Saved: $65.55

Circulation: 15% Gum Texture: 14%

Risk of Heart Attack: .71% Reprogramming: 15%

Happy Saturday blogging world. I’m flying high right now. The phone number for my company was posted yesterday and I’m getting the money I need to survive on Monday. I start one of my jobs on May 5th. I found a beautiful lady that wants me and I want her. I’m not even interested in other women at the moment. I have no expectations of what we are and I love that. Life is falling into place. Actually, I’m going to claim this. I’m finally able to place the pieces of my life together. I worked hard to get here. It wasn’t all luck. I suffered, I endured and mostly I didn’t slip into a dark hole to relieve the pain. I had every reason to shoot up, smoke meth or make brain art on the ceiling and walls. That in itself is a major achievement. I can see the light dancing through the surface of the water fast approaching. It’s dazzling and the anticipation of fresh air and sunlight is overwhelming. It’s felt so long that I can’t recall a time of not being in the frigid dark water. I can’t recall a time I didn’t have to breathe as a fish with thick heavy liquid filling my lungs. The time has come to enjoy the warmth of the sun and the refreshing breath of air.

I have to concentrate now on writing a bio for my new job, so I’m going to keep this one short. To anyone still in the dark frigid cold water hold on, hold tight, focus on your dreams, on your desires, focus on the moment and see that you are still alive. Happiness and self-love need to be found in the cold darkness or it will be empty in the warm healing light. Fully experience and allow the cold water and pain to hold you. To caress you in your agony. For the darkness will only make the light that much more brilliant and the further you go down the faster speed you can gain to spring forth from the water and fly. You are worthy of that love inside you. I know it seems hopeless and pointless at times, but you know that voice inside you cheering for you to never give up and never let go. That small child’s voice is you. The part of you that loves you and wants to come out and play with you. Give that fucker a mic, the loudest speakers you can find and let him/her blare their words out a crossed your being. Bask in that child’s music until you can bask in the warm kiss of the sun. If you do the music inside you will continue to play as your body is warmed in the sunlight.

I love you all

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