Basically in my workspace I was outed in s spectacular way. A woman scorned and all that. Gone from one day having loads of friends to another day being an arch villain in not only having an affair but with a man. I got the how can I compete with that? You have to remember this was back in the 90’s and I was living in Newport Gwent at the time, not a good place to come out in at the same time as coming out as having a gay affair. I think it took less than a day for it get round to everybody. It was quite something.
My family came next and I was dreading it even more as my family are devout christians. It was quite by accident that my got to know. I cant remember the exact conversation, but he came out with ‘unless your’ And I said would it matter if I was. To which there was dead silence. Then I got I cant condone what you do, but your still my brother, and I love you. That was a first as I hadnt had much to do with that brother for most of his life apart from in his tean where he studied Theology in Oxford. As ab aside right now we dont talk. with all that been going on here, I know I called him on quite a few occasions when I was having psychotic episodes but dont remember what U said to him. Nust have said something.
My sister and dad hardly had a reaction. Which has surprised me a lot.
I have spent 30 years in that church, the last almost 30 years out of it, and I would say that if I wanted to go back there, they would accept me with open arms.I dont hold any grudges against them for what they believe.
I know this is going to piss a few people off, nut its what I was bought up to believe, and its haunted me every day since leaving the church.
Our family is the same as a lot of families almost dysfunctional. I still love my family and all the in the church. The there are some there were only knee high to a grasshopper now and have children of their own.
I guess what I am trying to say is, its one of the most terrifying experiences you will go through but you be really surprised by the out come. I didnt have any support when all this was going on, I dont have that much now, so I ahev learnt to cope with thins on my own.
Dont give up on yourself, you are your own person, and even if you do have problems when you come out, you pick yourself up and you find a way to deal with them, and that makes you stronger.
