Week 8 Football Bets

I didn’t get a chance to make bets last week due to a bachelor party, but I did get one in while wildly hungover on Sunday morning.

Believeland backdoor covered in yet another glorious story for this incredible year for Cleveland sports. My college football bets seem to have somewhat stabilized, and I’m in contention in my picks league. I’m feelin’ good despite the constant reminder of my mortality that is my upcoming 30th birthday! Let’s get to it!

NCAA

California (+2.5) vs Oregon

The over/under is set at eighty freaking nine for this game. Cal’s defense sucks slightly less than the Ducks does.

Minnesota (-19) vs Rutgers

#neverforget

Iowa (+4.5) vs Wisconsin

These teams last two games have been decided by a combined six points.

U! MASS! (+20) @ South Carolina

This is more about the Gamecocks (teehee) than me being a homer; they shouldn’t be favored by more than two touchdowns against my grandmother.

Texas (-1.5) @ Kansas State

I will die on this hill with the Longhorns.

Colorado (+1.5) @ Stanford

The biggest Pac-12 game in CU’s history! If you don’t think I’m betting CU and UMass the same weekend I’m celebrating my 30th, you’re nuts.

Arkansas (+10.5) @ Auburn

Auburn’s not double digit favorites good. They’re touchdown favorites good.

Utah (+7) @ UCLA

Magic number

Washington State (-7.5) @ Arizona State

Don’t care about crossing the magic number, this is going to be a beatdown.

***Cousin Sal Parlay***

For the uninitiated, Sal Iacano always talks about moneyline parlays of heavy favorites on the Bill Simmons podcast. I’m a big fan of the idea, so we’ll do one per week. I’m gonna hit one soon, I feel it…

Minnesota/Oklahoma State @ Kansas/Nebraska vs Purdue/Arkansas (+10.5)/Washington State (-7.5) — Pays +325

Betting on sadness for Rutgers, Kansas, and Purdue football fans is easy money. Combine them with my two favorite bets, and voila! Value city!

NFL

UNDER 44.5 points in the London game

This game is always terrible and sloppy and the Rams and Giants will undoubtedly continue that tradition en route to a 16–13 somewhat thriller.

Cleveland (+10) @ Cincinnati

BELIEVELAND’S GONNA FINISH WITH THE BEST RECORD ATS!!!

Buffalo (-3) @ Miami

I thought Buffalo was good to start the season, then bought into the “collapse” hype, and now I’m angry at myself and trying to collect on debts I should be owed if not for my stupidity. Hopefully I’m not jinxing this but that’s usually what happens when you’re chasing.

Oakland (+1) @ Jacksonville

The Raiders might be 2016’s “beat bad teams/lose to good teams” team.

New England (-7.5) @ Pittsburgh

It’s genuinely sickening how much I’m relying on the Pats this year. I have two fantasy teams; one with Legarrette Blount and Gronk, and the other with Martellus Bennett and their defense. Every week they seem to be my biggest bet, including this one. They’re the best team. Puke.

Houston (+9) @ Denver

This line makes absolutely no sense to me. Hopefully I’m wrong. Go Broncos.

6 point teaser: Oakland +7/Washington +7 @ Detroit

Have a good weekend folks, and go Cubs.

TOTAL

Last Week NCAA (well, 2 weeks ago): 4–2–1

Season NCAA: 19–34–2

NCAA Teasers/Parlays: 0–6

Last 2 Weeks NFL: 2–3

Season NFL: 14–11–1

NFL Teasers/Parlays: 4–4

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