Ginuwine is NOT Transphobic Or IS He?

I’m an avid fan of Big Brother and I have applied to be on the show 2 times now. Am I a little salty I only made it to a callback once yes, yes I am. Big Brother is a reality show where a group of folks live in a house together and compete to win $$ with a process of elimination. As a fan you have access to 24hour live coverage of what’s going on in the house and can participate by voting for your favorite from time to time.

So celebrity Big BrotherUK is a thing and if i’m not mistaken two people who identify as being trans are on this season. The viral clip that is floating around the internet where a few of the housemates are sitting around outside having a conversation about dating with a transgendered lens. India asked Ginuwine if he would date a trans person and he said no I wouldn't. Mind you they were cozily sitting next to one another. What happened next shocked me.

India then grabbed him and tried to kiss him. Ginuwine pulled away refusing the kiss. Before he physically pulled away he not only shook his head no but said no. She attempted to still go for it. She stated she wanted to kiss not asked by the way. This entire moment being painted as transphobic is not and y’all seriously missed the mark. What I witnessed was a lack of consent and the double standard in rape/consent culture in general with women versus men. The conversation that took place was not only respectful but productive she was heard and able to speak on her experience dating as a trans-woman and other housemates chimed in as well.

The best definition I could find on transphobia was on wikipedia.

“Transphobia is a range of negative attitudes, feelings or actions toward transgender or transsexual people, or toward transsexuality. Transphobia can be emotional disgust, fear, violence, anger or discomfort felt or expressed towards people who do not conform to society’s gender expectations”

Given the clip people are using to call this man transphobic I completely disagree that he is given the above definition. It’s his preference! In my humble opinion when folks reasoning behind there preferences is rooted in disgust, negativity, fear, and ignorance they proudly earn the title of transphobic, racist, homophobic or whatever. Here’s a link to the video tell me what you think! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fu3j8SAL3g

After having a few conversations and taking a deep dive into what happened, I rewrote this and changed my stance! The beginnings were pretty much identical. The biggest difference is my tone and diction highlighted below:

So celebrity Big BrotherUK is a thing and if i’m not mistaken two people who identify as being trans are on this season. The viral clip that is floating around the internet where a few of the housemates are sitting around lounging outside with blankets having a conversation about dating with a transgendered lens. India asked Ginuwine if he would date a trans person and he said no. Saying you would date a woman assigned female at birth (afab) and not a trans women negates the womanhood of trans women and is indeed oppressive. It doesn’t matter that he said it respectfully he is respectfully transphobic at best. If he would have said something along the lines like: i’m not personally attracted to you and I don’t know what future me would do that would have been drastically different. Now what happened next shocked me.

India then grabbed him and tried to kiss him. Ginuwine pulled away refusing the kiss. Before he physically pulled away he not only shook his head no but said no. She attempted to still go for it. She stated she wanted to kiss not ask by the way. This entire moment being painted as transphobic is but y’all seriously missed a mark. What I witnessed was a lack of consent and the double standard in rape/consent culture in general with women versus men.

I said it once but I will say it again! Saying you will date women but not trans women is discrediting the womanhood of trans woman. Negating women womanhoods is oppressive no matter your delivery or intent.

Read how Ginuwine and transphobia helped me check myself here: https://medium.com/@jameciagray/ginuwine-and-transphobia-helped-me-check-myself-abf11f0d9377