Defeating The Destroyer Homes; Repair After Substance Abuse
Repair is the art of fixing or mending something that has suffered some significant amount of damage. While broken objects come to mind when we think of repair we must consider that people and relationships can also become dismantled. Sometimes this brokenness is irreparable but other times we can manage to reweave the threads that have been unwound. One of the main reasons for distress in families is drugs and alcohol abuse. This disease has been known to tear the closest of families apart, destroying trust and completely changing the people you care about for the worst. In Elizabeth V. Spelman’s Repair; The Impulse to Restore in a Fragile World she goes in to detail about the necessity and importance of repair and the different angles at which reparation can be approached.
This essay will explore the various cases of substance abuse and what influences these individuals’ choices that made them resort to alcohol or drugs. Anyone is capable of becoming addicted to these substances which is why both sides of the issue, when a parent uses and when a child uses, will be covered in this essay. Included will be the negative impacts and the steps taken to repair the addict, broken homes and the relationships between parents and children. I plan to compare and contrast both scenarios and list how the repair for each situation might be different and the different angles of approach to resolve the matters at hand. Substance abuse can completely change the personality of a person. They become someone unrecognizable to the people they love. They lie and steal from family members and as a result there is conflict. I plan to further deliberate on both the physical and mental changes that occur in the user and how those changes affect the family.
Addiction is when you become a slave to a substance and is unable to stop without help. The substance takes the brain hostage and the addict has lost the power of choice. Drugs and Alcohol abuse is a disease that not only affects the person who is taking them but is also known to destroy families and break up strong relationships. The rising epidemic of drugs and alcohol abuse is being captured in the headlines across our nation. They tell us about the harm drugs can cause us as individuals, but what we don’t see is its effects behind closed doors and how it greatly affects families when there is a member that uses. “Addiction is the only prison where the locks are on the inside” a wise quote once said by an unknown person. Drug addiction is one of the only addiction you can never truly recover from because it traps you mentally which is why the process of repair in this situation usually begins with the addict themselves first. They have to accept that there is a problem and be willing to participate in finding a solution to fix it.
The passage from repair that I plan to expound on in my second essay is found on page 53 of Spelman’s novel. It reads “… human conflict causes damage not only to the bodies and souls of individuals, but to the social fabric of communities.” Spelman goes on to further talk about how crime and violence can uproot a community and cause distress among the members even when they weren’t directly affected by the crimes. It’s more of a ripple effect; problem’s with one member can cause a wave of other problems for other members, which is why in her book Spelman wrote that the focus should not only be on the offender but the victim and their community. This quote from Spelman relates to what I am writing about because drugs and alcohol abuse causes harm not only to the body of the individual who is taking it but it also negatively impacts the “social fabric of communities” which in this case are the other individuals living in the affected household. The addict isn’t the only one who is going to need to be repaired, but also the community around the addict.
I recently read an article that I believe will not only provide great insight about how parents can be a major influencers when it comes to children who are substance abusers, but also how it is never too late for anyone to overcome their setbacks. Savannah was only ten years old when she became an addict. Her parents were frequent user and her mom had introduced her to drugs. After a while she started suffering from depression and eating disorders and drugs was her only outlet and they were very accessible to her so she took advantage. She ended up living in homes with her mom and sister and eventually she was sent to live with her father who put her on a different type of drug. One day savannah ran away from her father’s home with no intention of returning, she did whatever she could to get drugs. Savannahs grandparents found her and took her in but she later ran away from that home too. One day she found herself in a bathroom staring at her reflection wondering how she managed to reach such a low in life. When she left the bathroom the police was waiting for her outside and she was brought to juvenile hall. She had two choices, either a rehabilitation center or psychiatric care. Savannah ended up in the rehab center where she faced many struggles. She even relapsed but the people around her never gave up on her. One day she got on her knees and prayed and she realized that God was there for her and he would not give up on her so she won’t give up on herself. Savannah finally admitted out loud that she was an addict ant that she needed help. Her counselor fought to get her back into rehab and she finished her treatment and also participated in a recovery program. Savannah was able to overcome her addiction and has been sober now for 7 years. The fight was not an easy one but she was able to make it happen through determination. This is one of the many situations that show that while peers can influence each other, they are not the only ones it can also come from the home.
Rehab is generally the first place an addict is sent to. They are typically located in nice remote places where the surrounding area in calm and peaceful. Rehab is a means of helping to prepare drug and alcohol addicts to re-enter society. It allows them to grasp control of their life in a healthy manner. Individuals are free to enter Rehab and leave as they please. The reason for this is because rehab is only effective if the person is willing to take part. Depending on what they are addicted to, prescription drugs, street drugs, and/or alcohol, will decide how many days the addict spends in rehab. Rehab can be anywhere from 28 days to 90 days; though people can “serve” even more time if they happen to find themselves back to where they had initially begun. During their time spent at the rehab facility their doctors and other professionals help the addicts to overcome their devotedness to their poison of choice. Repair after substance abuse is not only physical, it is mental and emotional. The body is not the only thing that will be needing work. The mind and soul will and also the destroyed relationships caused by the abuse will need patching so they are also paired up with a psychologist to listen to them talk about the reasons why they used drugs as a coping method and provide a more positive solution to dealing with the daily struggles they face in their lives rather than resorting back to their previous destructive ways.
If after the recovered addict leaves rehab they may choose to continue down the recovering road. They would typically join local groups such as Alcohol Anonymous, AA, if they are an alcoholic or Narcotic Anonymous, NA, for drug abusers. These groups are created as a means of providing support. They consist of a bunch of recovering addicts talking about their stories and what they are doing in order not to revert to their old ways and go back down the wrong path. These meetings are good because they bring people together who can relate to each other and understand what each person is going through.
Annie had developed a deep committed relationship with alcohol. Every activity she took part in involved alcohol in some way. “Alcohol took away the shyness, paralyzing self-consciousness” she said. “It gave me a warm happy new feeling that freed me up to do anything.” Annie became dependent on alcohol to go through her daily endeavors, she took miniature bottles with her wherever she went. In college she got hospitalized for alcohol poisoning but that did not deter her from her destructive path. Annie later married a guy who was a heavy drinker, they got divorced and she married another man who also shared the same drinking habits as her. Her addiction, caused her to steal lie and make excuses to buy alcohol. Her life started to fall apart before her eyes. Her house got repossessed, she lost family and friends all due to her love for alcohol. She decided to make a change when the only friend she had left threatened to leave her if she didn’t do something about the situation. That was when she decided to call Alcohol Anonymous. Two AA members showed up to her house and shared with her their stories and how they managed to repair their lives through attending AA meetings. She was persuaded to go to the meetings and it was huge turn around point for Annie. After a few meetings she was finally able to see a brighter future ahead of her, one that did not involve alcohol. This goes to show that interacting with people who have overcome the same struggles you find yourself in now can instill some faith in you. And show you a glimpse of where you could be in life. This is why AA meeting are and effective type of repair.
Once individual repair is out of the way the focus is redirected to fixing the family as a whole, because such a negative environment could change family dynamics in rather unhealthy ways. Most time families can remain unraveled even after the individual who was struggling with substance abuse has recovered. They a numerous stories of loved ones being depressed due to their family members using. One good solution to emotional healing within the family is group therapy. It allows each person to talk about how the situation had affected them and they can all find ways to overcome those problems and move forward together as a family who was successful in defeating their demons.
Repair to the social fabric around the addict and not just the addict is necessary for the family to take that step forward together. If the whole family hasn’t healed then they face the possibility of going down the same rocky road the fought so hard to get off of.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I want to take the time to thank those who had influenced this essay in some way, shape or form. Special thanks to my group members, Dara, Dean, Luke and Meagan who provided great insight on how to further develop my essay into a better piece. I would also like to thank my friend Andre for proof reading my essay and fixing errors where necessary. Thanks also to my roommates Jatzia and Alison for their opinions on how they think I could further improve the essay. Last but not least I would like to thank Professor Harris for his writing tips and his ideas that helped to make my essay. With these people I would not have progressed as gracefully as I did in the development of this essay.
REFERENCES
Annie. “How a Helpful Neighbor Helped This Alcoholic on a Road to Recovery.” Alcoholics Anonymous. N.p., n.d. Web. 15 Nov. 2016.
Allen, Marie. Dope Help. Wilmington, DE: Cedar Tree, 2005. Print.
Spelman, Elizabeth V. Repair: The Impulse to Restore in a Fragile World. Boston: Beacon, 2002. Print.
Savannah: A True Story of Addiction, Treatment, and… (n.d.). Retrieved October 23, 2016, from http://www.phoenixhouse.org/news-and-views/true-stories/true-story-savanna/
http://www.aetv.com/shows/intervention
Wilcox, Stephen. “Alcohol and Drug Abuse Affects Everyone in the Family.” Alcohol and Drug Abuse Affects Everyone in the Family. N.P., n.d. Web. 07 Nov. 2016.
Picture References
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