Life as a migrant. The good the bad and the ugly.

There is no doubt that America is a beautiful country. With 1st World infrastructure and modern living standards the country is equipped with almost anything a modern human might need. Transportation infrastructure such as roads, highways and flyovers are of good standard and traffic is non-existent apart from urban suburbs during peak hours. There is professionalism in almost any sector and work flows almost effortlessly. With a high minimum wage and stable currency all Americans enjoy a strong buying power which has pushed the country and its society towards consumerism. Banking on said buying power an average American is bombarded with a wide range of selection and is constantly driven towards over consumption. To a certain extent, it is accurate to state that there is nothing an American cannot buy or afford. Not to forget the low borrowing rates that are floating around the 3% p/a mark.

But

Look past the materialistic façade and after a certain point in life, life in a “1st World” country can become very monotonous. You have little or no friendships and you also lose connections with your family members back home. Especially in a country like America where the concept of culture, manners or friendships is alien. We often see westerners go to Asian countries and they blog/vlog about how great the Asian hospitality is. But if you ask “When you go back to your own country, did you EVER invite a migrant family to your house and reciprocated that?” In 99.99% of the cases, it’s NEVER reciprocated. The whole concept of reciprocation or connecting with people just doesn’t exist. If you do make some friends through some miracle, the relationship is too formal and short-lived. You find that most of your “friends” are busy with going in and out of relationships constantly through a repeated drama of dating, break ups, marriages, divorces over and over again. This process eventually stops after 2–3 divorces when people realize that they are not only not young to be doing this, but also a lot poorer. Some go to marriage counselors and strangely the counselors themselves are divorced multiple times! When they see their kids suffering some sense gets knocked in, finally. No wonder then, most people live on credit and are perpetually poor. Don’t let the credit driven lifestyle of cars, apartments and TVs fool you. (Millions of people are retiring with less than $10,000 in savings and being totally dependent on social security which won’t cover their expenses). Most people that I know in their late 30s, 40s, 50s are single. After the kids leave the house, the older folks are back into the “dating game” in their 60s and 70s while the migrants of that age are spending time with their grandchildren. As a result of this churn of relationships, people are constantly on the move from place to place. Children are split up between parents. Added to this churn is a totally racist & bizarre media that constantly spouts negative stereotypes of Asian migrants and others, people never learn anything new, never connect with others and racism is abound. So they never really develop good friendships, are always searching for the next person and are always poor and lonely. Probably some of their best friends are their divorce lawyers who are always there for them when they need them the next time.

As long as you are going to a School/University, it’s all fun, partying & traveling because you have lots of friends, are just focused on your education, and you have zero responsibilities. After graduation and 3 years of working, suddenly the reality hits you like a brick. You are no longer staying with a bunch of friends, you have rent/mortgage to pay, you have responsibilities, you will have no emotional support, no place to fall back on, bills are piling up, you will be working 10–12 hours per day and your parents are looking forward for you to get married. Initially, you and your spouse, will be hanging out with other migrants and that interaction too will dissipate as people have kids and friends move to different cities for work. You will have little or no friendships and life turns into a monotony of work-pay bills-eat-sleep. No matter where you move, you will not know your neighbors. You will try over and over again to develop friendships but you will fail. In the meantime, back home, your grandparents, uncles, aunts and your own parents will slowly age and die. And a lot of times you won’t be able to make it to see your relatives that one last time. As they pass away and as relationships cease to exist, when you go back, you will find yourself out of place in your own country. What you took for granted all your life suddenly disappears. This is the price you WILL pay.

Having said that, I believe everyone should travel abroad and experience life in other countries. Because only through experiencing the ground reality does this glorification of another society ends. It’s important for migrants living abroad to stop kowtowing, stop BS-ing and actually state the facts. I don’t know why but people love to give an appearance of a fairy tale life. But it’s all a one big lie. Feedback without sugarcoating is important both for aspiring migrants as well as to the people of the host country. Especially in countries where racism is abounding, you have to ensure that they fix their behavior, it’s this lack of interaction between groups that is the root cause of racism in these countries. They are stupid enough to believe it’s the color of skin. It’s not. It’s this disease of going home every day and locking yourself up that’s the problem. In any case they need to learn to be respectful. You will find that most of the news in these countries are about migrants and white Americans constantly bickering with each other. It’s like a favorite pastime here. The media portrays migrants as victims and pushes for more sensitivity towards them. At the same time, it behaves insensitively towards migrants by constantly showing negative news. You can look at news archives and it goes back at least 25 years of constant negativity. In our countries you are taught to be respectful to EVERYONE. But here the media is solely focused on how bad migration has affected the country. You realize that there is no honest attempt to address the issue of Racism. It’s all about creating these exclusive groups. So it’s like every group be it Indians, Asians, Hispanics etc have to individually keep fighting continuously for all these whites to finally accept you. And when that finally happens for that group, we are all supposed to be humbled and thank our stars that they have finally accepted us. We sink to our knees teary eyed, the heavens open, light shines and angels start singing. I don’t know how to put it, but this whole exercise is really ridiculous, dumb and stupid

Now, if you fail to address the issue of racism and this issue of these exclusive groups, your kids born in a foreign country will end up paying for it. If you do have kids, most kids grow up really confused. It’s a very dichromatic society. You will find that blacks and whites are misbehaving with migrant kids. Generally, migrants are perceived as weak and hence easy to bully. Before it was just one group, now it’s both groups that show racist tendencies. The trinity of Cops, Lawyers and Courts are perpetually present in everyone’s lives. Frivolous lawsuits are rampant. Even with all these laws, there are a LOT of dishonest people. When you get scammed, you can take someone to court and win but good luck collecting the money even if you win the case.

You will also notice that you don’t see a lot of old people around. They mysteriously vanish. You realise that they are all ending up in old age homes. The ones who cannot afford end up living by themselves in a small house. I have been to several old age homes and I was really shocked to learn that hardly anyone comes to visit them because as I mentioned earlier, most people are busy going through relationship drama of marriages, divorces etc. Old people live in old age homes until they end up in hospitals, dying amongst a bunch of strangers. Another wonderful thing to look forward to when you retire here.

Let me stop this rant and give you a second to think. Good luck.

James