Chinese Dating Customs: Plenty of Love and Tradition
China is where ancient traditions meet modern love. In this article, I’ll cover this Asian dating culture that’s fascinating and sometimes a little quirky.
The Family Factor
In China, family is EVERYTHING. When you’re dating someone, you’re dating their entire family. This can be both awesome and a bit intimidating. Family approval is a big deal, so meeting the parents is a milestone that usually happens sooner rather than later. Expect a lot of questions about your job, your plans for the future, and maybe even your five-year plan. It might feel like an interview, but it’s only about making sure their precious child is in good hands.
The Matchmaker’s Role
While modern dating apps like Tantan (China’s Tinder) and Momo are super popular, traditional matchmakers still have a role, especially in smaller towns and among older generations. Sometimes, parents take matchmaking into their own hands! They set up blind dates for their kids, often during events called “相亲” (xiāngqīn). It’s like speed dating but with the added pressure of parental involvement.
The Festival of Love
Did you know that China has its own Valentine’s Day? Actually, they have several! Here are a couple of them:
- Qixi Festival. Also known as the Double Seventh Festival, celebrated on the seventh day of the seventh lunar month. It’s a day for couples to express their love and for single folks to wish for romantic blessings.
- Lantern Festival. This marks the end of the Chinese New Year celebrations and is a time for lovers to gaze at the beautiful lantern displays together.
- 520 Day. Celebrated on May 20th because the numbers 5–2–0 sound like “I love you” in Chinese.
Long-Distance Love
Given the size of China and the focus on career and education, long-distance relationships are quite common. Many young Chinese professionals move to big cities for better opportunities, often leaving their partners behind in their hometowns. Technology is a lifesaver here, with couples relying heavily on video calls and messaging apps like WeChat to stay connected.
The Marriage Question
Many people in China date with the intention of finding a life partner rather than just for fun. This brings us to the topic of marriage. There’s an expectation to marry relatively young, usually before 30. This is partly due to the cultural belief in having children early and partly due to social pressures. It’s not uncommon for parents to start dropping hints about marriage even if you’ve been dating for a few months.
The Pressure Cooker
Speaking of pressure, let’s not forget the infamous “剩女” (shèngnǚ), or “leftover women,” and “剩男” (shèngnán), or “leftover men.” These terms refer to women over 27 and men over 30 who are still unmarried. The pressure to marry can be intense, leading some to settle down quickly.
Whether you’re figuring out a cross-cultural romance or just curious about how love blooms in the East, understanding these traditions can help you appreciate the rich and varied Chinese dating culture.
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