4 Things Cancer Has Taught Me About Winning
I won’t ever forget when I heard the words, “you have cancer.” My heart immediately dropped, the pit of my stomach felt uneasy, and a wave of questions completely drowned out whatever it was that my doctor was saying to me. The truth is, I didn’t have any answers to my questions. All I knew was that I was about to enter into the hardest battle of my life and that the stakes were very high. Here’s what I learned from it.
I have a choice
This was the biggest revelation for me. I was so tempted to mope around and swim in self-pity. There seemed to be absolutely no reason to rejoice during this time. Then I realized something. I was choosing to mope and feel sorry for myself. While cancer put me in a (very) difficult circumstance, it did not have the power to force a reaction from me — that was completely on me. I could blame my circumstances or I could rise to the occasion. It was extremely difficult to do, but I knew I had a choice…and I chose to fight.
Maybe you feel as though you were dealt a bad hand and because of that can never achieve your goals. If the odds were correct every time, then we would never have underdog stories.
Attitude matters
The mind is a powerful thing. What really helped me was believing that I was going to get through this. You may have heard of placebos. Well, placebos can produce what’s called expectation effects. The American Cancer Society says that this means that the person taking the placebo may experience something along the lines of what he or she expects to happen. Placebos themselves don’t do anything, rather it’s the power of the mind.
We also see this in sports. We talk about morale and momentum shifts. We hear about stories like Julian Edelman and the Patriots during Super Bowl LI, and how he always believed they would come back and win (they ended up orchestrating the biggest comeback win in Super Bowl history…hey I apologize, but I’m a Bostonian).
There’s a quote that says “bad attitude is the only disability.” I won’t go as far as to say that it is the only disability, but I would definitely agree that it is a disability. It discourages, disempowers, and ultimately cripples you. Nothing good comes from a bad attitude. I didn’t need to know how just yet, but I knew that I made a choice that I was going to fight and that my energy was going to be spent believing that I was going to win. This had tremendous positive impact on how I felt every day.
There is power in community
Could I have gotten through this experience alone? Maybe, but probably not. Here’s what I do know for sure, the unwavering and abundant support from friends, family, and even strangers created exponential value for me. It didn’t make it easy, but it made it easier to take that next step forward. It was like having strength on demand when I needed it. When I felt defeated, they picked me back up. When I had a breakthrough, they celebrated with me.
For those of you who may feel like you are being a burden by sharing your struggles with your community, let me tell you a secret that took me a while to wrap my mind around — my friends and family said they themselves were being strengthened by going through this journey with me.
Some things are out of my control
Some call it luck, some call it fate. Whatever it is you call it, there is an element to life you cannot control. For example, I can’t control the performance of the hospital staff, how much (or little) the cancer has metastasized, or how I’ll respond to treatments. Everything that I did, choosing to fight, staying positive, and surrounding myself with support, gave me the best chance at winning the battle, but it didn’t guarantee it — I had to learn to accept that.
The truth is, you can’t win every time and that’s ok. What you can do is set yourself up for success. Fortunately for me, I was cured of cancer, but I understand that it could have just as easily gone the other way. Now one of my post-cancer battles is living my life free from the anxiety of wondering if it’ll ever come back….and just like before, I am making a choice to stay fit, enjoy life, be positive, and surround myself with people I love.
I applied these principles specifically with cancer, but firmly believe they can help in other situations as well, whether they are personal, business related, or something else.
Do you see any areas where this can be helpful in your life?
Also by James Choi:
- The Single Greatest Characteristic of Strong Leadership
- 10 Essential Characteristics in Creating Highly Successful Startups
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James Choi has studied Workplace Leadership & Ethics from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and believes everyone benefits from great leadership. Prior to receiving his Master’s, he worked in management consulting and also in financial services. He is currently looking to break into the tech startup scene.
