5 Reasons to not start a blog
1. You’re probably not original.
So first stop and look at yourself. Not in the mirror but look at yourself in the world. Remember your parents, where you came from, what you’ve accomplished, your failures, your loves and your rivalries. Take everything that’s you and try to ball it up in your mind’s eye and then put that ball out into the world, floating in the center of all its cultures and creeds. Does it shine? Does it catch the eye and give us something scary and uncomfortable while somehow endearing and warm? Probably not right? Your student debt and fledgling angst is just as boring in any other country as it is at home. And lo and behold, you’re definitely not the first person from your city/state/country to have transplanted to your new city/state/country. After you’ve looked at yourself and still see something charming and benign, google what you think your blog will emit into the world. It’s been written hasn’t it? Ad nauseam? Finding a new place in [insert your city here] is difficult, which is why Forbes has already told you that your should move your broke ass somewhere else. If you google enough of your ideas I’m sure you’ll be disappointed to see just how expansive Rule 34 is.
2. Nobody wants to be in your blog.
Imagine you meet a nice foreigner. Stars in their eyes, adorable accent, and with an insatiable curiosity about you and everything you call home. You’re used to having the same conversations with a reliable yet predictable roster of friends so you’re just pleased as punch to field odd questions from this little weirdo genuinely chatting you up. Now imagine your utter fucking disenchantment when you see your conversation paraphrased horribly in a wordpress that got linked in a whatsapp group that you’re not sure how you joined. Now imagine if that was an American or Brit who did that to you, even worse huh?
3. Don’t categorize and qualify your personal experience.
We need to stop checking our phones. Put down the screen. Open our beady eyes and just take in the flowers or smell the bees or something. Humans weren’t meant to constantly relate to themselves through the cold lenses of applications designed to make us feel special just like the countless others. So why should we bring that mentality with us in what could be the time of our lives. Putting it up on the gram, funny tweets, nihilist memes, and snaps should be enough but I guess not. Why is it necessary to add another mirror over it? Why do we need something more to run back to in the laptops and pads in our head. When you see something new or hear something so singular and frisson inducing that you’re standing there shocked, our first thought shouldn’t be “I can’t wait to put this in my blog”.
4. Think about who your audience even is. a.k.a Why do you want to bring more people as boring as you you to a place you love?
What do you love about traveling? Long rides through new landscapes? Strange Food? Sexy accents and then realizing that you might also finally have a sexy accent for once? You’re breaking the comfort zone right and can almost feel the inside of your skull? You know how that’s possible? Not dealing with the same fucking people that you left behind in that enchanted suburb day in and day out. Stay with me this is a twofer. Because everything you share, everything you tell to the world, rots. It rots away at the special corners and amazing memories you’ve accrued. Your friends and family will be the first to itbut let’s say you catch friends of friends and people in slightly larger circles. One of those people go to that special place with those special people holding down a bastion of authenticity. That person could actually be a writer (unlike us) and when they post that retouched as shit pic on Buzzfeed or whatever, you can bet the world will know about your little secret home away from home. And then it’s over, busses carrying hordes of the masses crawling over their guides and trinkets to get a selfie next to your precious memory be it the smallest bit of zen. But now the people and memories who scared and challenged you stopped doing that to make a better living selling dancing Spongebobs and Virgin Marys.
5. It’s not a good excuse to stop calling and writing friends and family.
Yeah why do you need an explication for this? Call your fucking grandma! Do you even remember how long ago Uncle J.D. died? She might not, you have no idea about her mental health. Subjecting her to brave all of the fucking Tide pods and other horribly dated Internet comedy that I can list is bad familying. This goes for all of your family, especially the ones who are too busy living their lives to read about you being the same oversharing spazz but WITH WHOLE NEW HASHTAGS.