Two things to check:
- Have you accidentally added a file extension (e.g. txt) to the ssh file? Some OS’s hide file extensions, so this is an easy mistake to make
- Have you formatted and prepared the SD card correctly? A bad preparation will cause the Raspberry Pi boot to fail – and as a result the “Connection Refused” error
Lastly, there is a discussion thread on exactly this issue over on my personal blog. You might find an answer there.
Hope that helps!