The nagging feeling as if you have made the wrong decision in life, but yet things will be for the better. It is a feeling brought on by wrong doings and moral insecurities. This strange, complex, yet nostalgic feeling resurfaces nightly. It creeps into existence when life slows down and there is time to reflect.
People, employment, and vices help mask the feeling with alternative emotions. These emotions are only temporary reliefs from the grief that grows in the heart. Distractions become chronic.
In another life this mind would have challenged the grief of others, questioning the validity of such feeling, however, the same emotion now clouds this mind. It is a monster that consumes us all.
Living a lie gets an individual so far in life, eventually forcing an ultimate confrontation. This confrontation occurs at different times for people. This is the fear that runs through the soul.
Western society has the tradition of suppression and stoicism. The monster’s name is taboo and not to be mentioned in conversation. It is something omitted at the dinner table.
The difficult component of this masked monster is the transfer to words. The expression of emotion can be near impossible for some.
This entry has not done it justice, but is merely an entry point for it to one day escape. It all starts somewhere.