5 Steps to Earn Trust - the Most Important Currency in Any Relationship

We know trust is critical in our personal relationships. It is often said — “trust takes years to build, but only seconds to lose.” That adage has generally been reserved for personal relationships, but it is increasingly relevant in all aspects of our lives.

Arguably, trust is now the most important currency in the modern era — with people, employers, businesses, nonprofits, religious institutions and governments. You disagree? Ask Mark Zuckerberg how valuable “trust” is to Facebook (recall a $120B+ loss last month).

In fact, it is hard to know an area of our lives where trust hasn’t been in the news. Webster Dictionary defines trust as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something; one in which confidence is placed.” In the past, we had implicit trust in certain people (spouse), institutions (church or synagogue), and employers.

Sadly, however, implicit trust is dead. We’ve become jaded by prolific personal failures, fraudulent business practices, religious cover-ups, and government malfeasance. So while Webster may offer a “definition” of trust, the real question in the age of skepticism and FakeNews is — “how do we earn trust?”

After 20+ years of marriage, work experience and a recent political fight to overturn a rogue Seattle Mayor and City Council, I’ve asked myself — how does any organization earn trust?

It comes down to five (5) key steps to earn my trust:

1. Make a commitment. Put your commitment in writing. Consider the commitment sacrosanct — much like vows in a marriage.
2. Have a plan and work at it. Your commitment needs to be backed up with a rational plan of how you will fulfill your obligations and measurable objectives. Then, put the plan in motion and make resource investments; your actions speak louder than words.
3. Be transparent. You can’t improve if you don’t measure it. Report on progress against measurable objectives every week, month, quarter and year (over prior periods). If anecdotes tell you something different than the data, then you may be measuring the wrong thing — try again.
4. Be accountable. Be honest about progress (or lack thereof). Double down on what is working, and make changes when there are shortcomings. Note, this will definitely include “firing” people who shun accountability.
5. Grow from your mistakes. Notwithstanding your commitment, no plan is perfect and you will make mistakes. Real trust is earned when you demonstrate the ability to own your mistakes, take feedback (with a humble attitude), grow from them, improve, and then still meet your commitment (come hell or high water).

These steps may seem simple in theory, but they are difficult in practice. Ask anyone with lengthy experience in a marriage, as an employer, as a pastor, or in the government. It seems that everyone can commit to step 1 — but few can master all 5 steps to earn my trust.

While many use the term loosely, real trust is the most important currency in any relationship.