NES Games No One Played: Letter B
I’ve got a pretty extensive NES collection and have for years been writing about the best games for the system while also trying to collect every title. As such, I feel like I’ve spent tons of time playing all the great games while the lesser known titles usually come in the mail and go straight onto the shelf. I wanted to make more of an effort to explore the entire library of the NES, not just the classics, and so I’m trying out some buddies I either popped in and immediately out or never played in the first place. Since I’ve got them organized alphabetically, let’s continue on with the Letter B
BANDIT KINGS OF ANCIENT CHINA | 1990
I wanted to include Bandit Kings of Ancient China so I could go ahead and get the Koei games out of the way as they pretty much define the neglected NES game to me. I’ve had friends who grew up playing Nobunaga’s Ambition and Uncharted Waters and they swear by those titles and if you were like them then please do not think I’m shitting on your favorite childhood title just for fun. But at one time or another, I’ve tried to play all of these games, and I sadly own ALL of them. Every time I pop one in, I go from one text menu to another, trying vigorously to accomplish something, ANYTHING, and just cannot seem to do it. These games either came with amazingly detailed manuals or they were designed for people to just keep trying til something happened.
I grew up playing Civilization, and while that game had a novel length manual, I very rarely referenced it because the gameplay was pretty intuitive. I feel like if you’d never played that game and were asked to play it today, you’d have no trouble picking it up. I tried reading the walkthrough for Bandit Kings and FELL ASLEEP SITTING UP. I’m not kidding.
Again, not hating if you love these early strategy games, but try as I might I just can’t get into them.
Similar Games: Gemfire, Genghis Khan, L’Empereur, Nobunaga’s Ambition I & II, Romance of the Three Kingdoms I & II.
THE BARD’S TALE | 1991
Look out! It’s first person 8-bit dungeon exploring RPG time!
I gotta say first and foremost that I really respect the scope of these types of role playing titles. To make a game where you navigate from your character’s perspective was pretty ambitious for this time period. Bard’s tale has a nice map next to the 3D dungeon screen which makes navigating a ton easier. It’s such a simple mechanic that it makes you wonder why Fester’s Quest or Golgo 13 didn’t have one.
When you start the game you can make a party of six (SIX!) characters including Saruman, Aragorn, Gandalf, and three guys who if they are Lord of the Rings related, they’re Simarillion level deep. Oddly enough though, only three of your guys can do an attack in a battle while the other three can only guard or use an item and as such, I’m not really sure what the point of having them is. Also, when you talk to people in taverns and whatnot each of your party members can talk to the innkeeper. INDIVIDUALLY. As if talking to NPCs wasn’t tedious enough, now you get to find out if every person you talks to likes talking to Gandalf more than Saruman.
Again, I know a lot of y’all probably got reeeeeeaaallll deep in Bard’s Tale 28 years ago so don’t think I’m simply discounting your nostalgic experience with these types of games. I’m sure for the right person they can yield all types of fun times. It’s just that in 2019, I just don’t have the patience for em’ and me and Bard’s Tale hung out for about 20 minutes and then called it quits.
Similiar Games: Swords and Serpents, Dungeon Magic, Might and Magic
BLUES BROTHERS | 1992
Ahhhh finally a game I know no-one had a sentimental attachment to, Blues Brothers. This guy right here is the real mind killer.
This is the only NES game developed by Titus Games, the company responsible for the infamous Superman 64. Surprisingly, Blues Brothers actually looks pretty great. The sprites and their animations are fluid and diverse, the stages are colorful and well defined, and there’s lots of film specific nods like the music is straight out of the movie, the Blues Brother’s hold onto their hats when they jump, and they even included the fucking Nazi’s as enemies (NAZIS in an NES game!). And holy shit I totally didn’t realize this was 2-Player co-op! I played a lot of video games with my friends growing up and I was always searching for co-op titles so that instead of taking turns we could play the same game at the same time. As shitty as this game is, I would’ve loved it as a kid if only for that reason.
Of course, Blues Brothers is awful. The controls are atrocious, not so broken as to be unplayable, but just capable enough to frustrate your life away. You’re always jumping short, falling off ledges, unintentionally running into enemies, it’s terrible. And this is one of those games where you start low and work your way up to the top, so when the controls abandon you to fall, Jake or Elwood end up all the way back down at the beginning of the stage. I cannot get past the first level; I climb all the way to the top falling multiple times and dodging enemies (since of course you have no attack), and then I get to the top and….no idea. Run to the left, there’s a tree to nowhere. Run to the right, there’s a ledge you can’t jump to. And yes I could Google what to do here, but there’s no way knowing the solution is going to make this game any better.
Similar Games: Addams Family, Wayne’s World
BRAM STOKER’S DRACULA | 1993
Hey, another movie licensed game! Bram Stoker’s Dracula joins the ranks of other way too adult movies made into kids games along with Darkman, The Untouchables, Friday the 13th, etc.
The setting here is a common one for the NES: a Castlevania lite with dark horror environments like spooky woods, dungeons, and castles. And while Dracula is not even close to the level of greatness that the Castlevania series embodies, it is at least playable. You get a variety of weapons from Mario Bros style question blocks and you fight the usual assortments of vague looking people, bats, ghosts, etc. You can but stomp the ground in certain places to reach the depths below which is pretty neat. Each level is pretty succinct and simple, no fuss no muss.
Other than that, it’s pretty bland. On the gothic scale ranging from Dr. Jekyll to Castlevania III, I’d give it an 8 Eyes.
Similar Games: Frankenstein, Conan the Barbarian
BURAI FIGHTER | 1990
Like Adventures of Dino Riki, I thought for sure this was an action platformer. Turns out it’s a side scrolling shooter and I was confusing it for Kabuki Quantum Fighter. Whoops!
Burai Fighter was made by the bizarrely named company KID, who also made the excellent G.I. Joe games and the superb awesomeness that is Kickmaster. Surprisingly as not a huge fan of shooters, I think this game kinda rules. The music isn’t especially deep but it’s pretty catchy, kind of Kid Icarusy. The levels actually remind me a lot of the IREM aesthetic of kind of futuristic robot lairs like in R-Type or Metal Storm. And I love, LOVE, that you can shoot in four directions. It’s such a simple thing, but in almost every shooter if an enemy is behind, above, or below you, you just avoid them because your guy can only shoot forward but not Burai Fighter! It does take some getting used to, but for sure it’s a welcome change.
Other than that, it’s another good shooter on a system full of them. I mean it seems like at least a 10th of the NES library are shooters and while most of them are actually pretty decent, few stand out from the pack.
Similar Games: Section Z, Abadox,
OTHER LETTER B GAMES (CLASSICS)
Bubble Bobble, Blaster Master, Battletoads, Batman, Bionic Commando, Baseball Stars, Blades of Steel, Bucky O’Hare
OTHER LETTER B GAMES WORTH TRYING
Battle of Olympus, Batman: Return of the Joker, Batman Returns, Battletoads and Double Dragon, Bonk’s Adventure
OTHER LETTER B GAMES WORTH AVOIDING
Bump N’ Jump, Beetlejuice, Bad Street Brawler, Barbie, Back to the Future, Back to the Future II & III