My Love Letter to Tea

My Dearest Earl Grey,

How are you this morning? I have great need of you. The long night and the central air has left me parched with a headache suspiciously similar to a hangover — though I haven’t had a drop of the really good stuff in a while.

To me, you’ve shown a greater constancy than any lover and a reliability greater than any friend. You’re always right there in the kitchen, waiting for me, late on a Sunday morning. I’d know you even by your scent in a crowd. On a long or difficult day, you lift me up ever so gently, and sustain me. You are the Earth, and I, Antaeus. So long as we are together, I am invincible.

Would that my own constancy were beyond reproof, darling. You who were my first, should have been my one and only, to the last. Sadly, you’re now merely the primus inter pares of my caffeine shelf. The coffee envies your status as bottom bitch, but we both know that coffee will never match your sublime splendor.

You have ever been at hand in all my wild wanderings in this world. May your bergamot goodness not desert me now in the depths of Florida.

With love,


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