We’re all gripped by a constant negotiation and cycle of forgiveness with the people in our lives. A gay man will wave off a whiff of homophobia from his sister because he knows “she’s not like that.” A woman of color will ignore racially off-kilter comments from her white friends because she knows where their hearts are. Any of us who’s stayed close with less-than-perfect people has needed to reach for some form of denial and focused on the reasons why we love them. Forgiveness is a virtue, right?
(Not) All Men
Nona Willis Aronowitz
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maybe this is where allies are helpful? someone who isn’t motivated-to-forgive but also not threatened can speak up here. say yo … wtf?

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