Homophobia & Discrimination at DeMatha Catholic High School: An Open Letter

To Father James & Members of the DeMatha Community At Large –

Some of you know who I am. For others, allow me to introduce myself.

My name is James Vincent Murray. I’m a graduate of the Class of 2011. I grew up in Hyattsville, right down the street — Some of my earliest memories are of riding my scooter around the DeMatha Senior Parking Lot with My Dad (Brendan Murray, Class of 82). Dematha is my family and my home. I was a member of the Wind Ensemble and a diver on the Varsity Swim Team. I was in the NHS, The Science Scholars, A National Scholar With Excellence in the Arts, and an AP Scholar. All of that, paired with my skills as an actor/public speaker, prompted my teachers to select me to deliver the Welcome Address at Commencement. This, along with some legendary telling-offs, was one of my proudest moments at DeMatha.

And all of those achievements and things about me — sure, they were great. But they weren’t why I was chosen to speak. We all knew this. The real reason I was selected, as well as a “unspoken” reason, (I suspect) was that I was that I was being celebrated for my boldness and willingness to be openly gay all four years at DeMatha. Somehow, In spite of what was being written in my teacher’s contracts or shoved in my face in the locker room, I was enormously popular at DeMatha. It’s a privilege I enjoyed then, and it’s one I wield now with great austerity — one that prompts me to act.

You see, even at the age of 15, I recognized that being open about my sexuality was my God-given (and Constitutional) right. What were they gonna do? Bully me? Expel me? Please. It was an act of protest that assumed it was already in the heart of an institution that prides itself on diversity to accept me for who I was. After all, several of our teachers were obbviously gay, right? We all have eyes and ears and hearts. It was already an unspoken rule, it seemed, that being gay was OK at DeMatha. And ultimately, I was right. I was accepted at the end of the day.

But initially, I was met with caution. DeMatha can do better here for students like me. Teachers I knew well, who meant well, told me that I should keep this under wraps. That I could be gay, yeah, but I didn’t have to be public about it or tell anyone. Keep it down. This was for my own protection. Counselors helped and promised to keep things secret, but they also promised me that the administration was going to come after me if they found out. They told me that the Dean of Students had, in the past, conducted “Inquisitions” and gone to counserlors asking them to identify gay students so they could be dealt with. That’s probably illegal. It’s definitely not right, or within the spirit of the school. They interrogated and threatened at least two students in the classes above me, in what sounded like mobster-style shakedowns. Shameful.

But hey, I wasn’t scared and They never came for me. I took that as a sign that things were changing. I was probably just lucky. Instead of being expelled, I was left alone and allowed to flourish at DeMatha. And this is natural, because I was talented, smart, bold, loving, and I usually made a point to “[Uphold] the freedom of all people, especially the broken who are marked by the hardships of the human condition.. [and commit myself] to a way of life rooted in the Gospel and expressed in works of mercy and redemption.” — — My being gay could never have been divorced from upholding those axioms.

And as I graduated DeMatha, I looked forward to change that might come to our institution that held so much promise, even in 2011. Change I had actively helped initiate by being the first penguin to leap from the iceberg, as Dan McMahon had encouraged us to do at the start of one school year. I mean, we put on “The Laramie Project,” and the basketball team came to see it. We held a (watered-down) Day Of Silence, we had obviously gay teachers. I mean, it should’ve been obvious. And there were tons of Freshman not even having to “come out,” — being gay was just a thing about them other students accepted or didn’t care about. Surely, things would continue to progress, right?

Apparently not.

It’s my understanding that since I left DeMatha, measures were put in place to discriminate against hiring LGBTQ teachers, or firing ones that slipped up. I haven’t studied the contracts you have your teachers sign, or what is said to them outside of the contract, or menacingly implied in break rooms, or between the lines in emails, but I take them at their word. Their experience is their testimony. I also note that many of the great legendary teachers and defenders of truth, the ones who were the most outspoken about Gay Rights, no longer work at DeMatha. They were old, sure. But I bet they were tired, too.

So, as we move forward from yesterday’s Supreme Court Decision, which forbids the practice of discrimination in the workplace based on Sexual Orientation and Gender Expression, I’m sure there’s another legal battle ahead. One that will argue that Catholic Institutions, like DeMatha, may discriminate in their hiring/admission practices if they want their staff/students to “Adhere to a Lifestyle consistent with the teachings in the Gospel.” I would encourage DeMatha not to enter that battle, or use such a thinly veiled argument to break the law. Should you choose to do so, I would invite you to revisit the Gospel.

It’s my hope that DeMatha, together with its religious leaders — and yes, I am pained to make that distinction, as I have witnessed more than once the hopes of the institution butt heads with will the Archdiocese — (World Religions had to be called “Catholicism in an Ecumenical World,” prompting the literal eye-rolling from my teacher, the head of Campus Ministry) — will re-examine its mission statement and incorporate new measures to ensure the safety, wellbeing, and success of its LGBTQ students, staff, and faculty. I hope that this email, teachings from the Pope and Christ himself, and the authority of the United States Supreme Court prompts this change.

What does this look like? Here are some following actions to consider immediately:

1. End discriminatory hiring practices at DeMatha

2. End mandatory gag orders for LGBTQ teachers. There is nothing shameful, indoctrinating, perverse, or inappropriate about heterosexual teachers discussing their heterosexuality or their wives, is there? Gay people should enjoy the same freedom.

3. Openly allowing and announcing that students can come to prom with whoever they want, not just silently tolerating it or letting it slip under the rug.

4. An end to the “All Lives Matter” version of the Day of Silence, in which students refuse to speak in order to echo the silence of people in the closet who may not speak their truth. In the past, DeMatha has condoned a separate Day of Silence from ‘The Gay One’ where people can be silent for “Whoever is Marginalized.” — It’s literally nonsense, and incredibly disrespectful to the gay community. I don’t even know if DeMatha still does this.

5. An public acknowledgment of failure to do enough and commitment to do better for LGBTQ students and faculty, accompanied by a moderated conversation about homophobia for Gay Alumni. We just had one for Black Alumni. Oppression is intersectional. You’ll see some of the same people airing brand new grievances.

6. The establishment of an office of Diversity and Inclusion at DeMatha, to look out for not only gay students, but to address discrimination and prejudice within the community at large. If the money cannot be acquired to pay for that, maybe we should reallocate some funds from other egregiously well-funded, nike-sponsored Departments.

7. If any of these actions are met with resistance on behalf of DeMatha’s religious leaders, or the Archdiocese of Washington, that DeMatha will appeal those decisions, and seek to replace the leaders that they can.

It is DeMatha’s hope and promise that prompts this email, but it is also the tremendous pain, suffering, and neglect we, The Gay DeMatha Community, endured at your hands. Know that. And if DeMatha wishes to uphold its reputation as a beacon of light in the academic world, it will acknowledge this hurt and strive to do better. How can we encourage young people to be who they are if we tell their teachers they may not? How can we promise Freedom to Slaves and keep gay students in the dark? As we watch knight-stick authoritarianism and Fascism rise like a fire in this nation, Where will DeMatha stand? What side of history will they be on? The answer will be yours, not mine.

Humanity is an opportunity.

James Vincent Murray

Class of 2011