Focus on Fun

An old-skool approach to setting goals

Last year I wrote a long piece looking back on 2014 and gearing up for 2015, with some loose resolutions tacked on to the end. When I came to do the same for this year, I found myself really not in the mood for it.

Whilst 2015 had some great highlights (vacation in Israel with Maytal’s family, visiting New York again, learning to run), I ended the year feeling pretty terribly about work and life and stuff. I was exhausted, woke up anxious, and spent my last few weeks at work avoiding conversations and counting down the hours until I could leave. I hadn’t felt that way since I worked in supermarkets as a teenager.

A few knee-jerk solutions kept popping up in my head: ‘find a new job!’ ‘leave Berlin!’ ‘just make music!’ . As always when things get tough, I daydreamed about running away. Most scenarios involved somehow fleeing to New York and becoming a (most likely impoverished) artist. I was putting all my energy into disliking work, and looking for a way out, without thinking about why I felt the way I did.

Two weeks with minimal internet, relaxing in front of a fire at my parents house gave me some time to step away from work, and Berlin, and think a bit about why I keep finding myself feeling quite miserable.

One thing that I kept coming back to was how I’d stopped doing the things I enjoy the most; discovering new music, traveling, cooking with friends, and making music (I didn’t play a single show in 2015, Seams essentially ended). I felt as if I was just going to work, and coming home too tired to do anything else. Many would say that looking forward to the weekend is a sign that it’s time to find a new career to pour 60 hours a week into. I’m not sure I agree. I enjoy work, but need to balance it with other things in order to not feel like my identity is defined by the means by which I pay rent.

I was resenting work, but maybe work itself wasn’t actually the problem. Maybe I’d stopped putting effort into life outside of work, and it was that which was wearing me down.

Focus on Fun

So instead of pointing the finger at all the rubbish stuff, I thought about what I could do to bring back a sense of balance. I wrote a list of what I wanted to do in 2016 to feel happier and healthier (both in body and mind):

Discover more new music
Read more books
Cook more dinners with friends
Travel more
Continue running
Make music again

Quantifiable Goals > Fuzzy Resolutions

The trouble is these kinds of goals are so fuzzy that it’s often impossible to plan them in or know if you’re making any progress. The resolutions I made last year were also quite loose (learn German, learn to drive, See friends more, read more, visit New York).

I feel like I achieved two of those. I went to New York (twice!) and read about 15 books. It was the latter that got me thinking about how to approach 2016.

Not being much of a reader as a child, I miraculously found myself getting into reading at the end of 2014 (my mum is still shocked when she sees me curling up with a book). I set myself the modest goal of reading 6 books in 2015, one every 2 months. I signed up for Goodreads to track my progress, and set a Reading Challenge for the year. The quantifiable sense of progress felt really encouraging, with each book finished feeling like a big step. I quickly surpassed my goal, and ended up reading over 3 times what I set out to.

“Do X more” doesn’t seem to work, but “Do X 6 times” felt much better.

What if I took the same approach to the other things?

Don’t try and force a habit overnight

Initially I was thinking ‘I should read a new book every week’ and ‘I should release music every month’. I often see resolutions framed this way. For some people building a regular rhythm and routine may help, but for me I knew it would lead to feeling overwhelmed, and worrying about not ticking all the boxes when work gets busy, people are visiting, I’m on vacation, or I’m ill.

It’s okay to have periods of time where priorities dictate fun taking a back seat, and there are also times where inspiration come all at once, resulting in a flurry of activity.

I took my list of things, and put a number next to each one. A realistic number that I could potentially even exceed, whilst still being large enough that chipping away at it semi-regularly would feel like an improvement.

I ended up with the following:

Hear 50 new albums (new to me)
Spend 40 days without internet (weekly is unrealistic, but time away from feeds and FOMO really helps)
Cook 30 dinners with friends (with more emphasis on the event, than the cooking, to me it’s the perfect social gathering)
Read 20 books (I surprised myself by reading 15 last year, let’s see if I can maintain my streak)
Make 15 new things (could be music, or drawings, or a new dance, just something that takes more effort than an Instagram snap)
Visit 3 new countries (this has been Maytal’s resolution for a few years, Stockholm and Japan are both already being planned)
Run 1 10k race (I ran a 5k last year, let’s top it!)

As tangible progress is important to me, I created a star chart (much like ones for potty training kids), which I’ll mark off as I make progress.

It looks like this:

Since taking this photo I’ve already read a new book, listened to a new album, and friends are coming over tonight to cook dinner (and watch Take Me Out — the pinnacle of British televisual entertainment).

But, how?!

It sounds like a lot all put in a list like that, but there’s 365 days to do it, and a few little changes will help. These aren’t hard rules, or good habits I expect myself to develop overnight, but things I’ll try and keep in mind.

Avoid laptops or phones in the bedroom (it messes up sleep in a way that books don’t).
Carry a book at all times, hopefully replacing absent-minded timeline checking.
Take days off work to do things like visit galleries, make music, and read. No big vacation required.
On days when I have to work late, take a couple of hours to do something I enjoy before work, rather than just working an 11-hour day. Hopefully then I feel like the day isn’t just lost to the office.
Do the daily journal thing, to keep track of how I’m feeling.

Fingers crossed it’ll help me feel happier, get inspired, and make things again. I look forward to my star chart becoming a total mess of ink, stickers, and maybe even some glitter.

What are your goals for 2016, and how to plan to track progress?