The Instagram Pitch

[Scene, interior, office. Swanky.]

Developer: Our proposal is for a social photo sharing service, making it super easy for people to share photographs.

VC: Sound’s great!

Developer: Wait, there’s more! We have these filters that make virtually any snap look stylish and retro, look… [shows photo]

VC: Wow, that is so cool! Really 70's vintage, amazing. [Reaches for cheque book]

Developer: Yeah! So, of course it’s a web service, but we really want to focus on the App, we think that’s where it’s at. Your camera is right there on your phone, let’s put the app right there too, make it really immediate and easy.

VC: Yeah, I agree. But people will want to use it on the browser too, right?

Developer: …Yeah, sure. kinda.

VC: What do y…

Developer: [butting in] Hey, have you seen the Sienna filter?!

VC: Oh, er, yeah — very cool. Lovely picture by the way, let me just zoom in on that… where’s the zoom icon?

Developer: There isn’t one.

VC: Oh, of course — duh! It’s pinch to zoom. Oh…

Developer: No, you can’t pinch to zoom.

VC: Double tap?

Developer: Nope.

VC: Open it in my browser?

Developer: [laughs] You wish! Go on, try it…

VC: [Opens browser on 27" iMac] It’s still really small. That’s… weird.

Developer: [Looks at shoes]

VC: Let me get this straight. You’ve built a photo sharing platform which makes it impossible to zoom in on the pictures. The essential core property of the application, the photos, can’t be viewed at anything much beyond a thumbnail view, is that right?

Developer: Yep. Cool huh! [Smiling]

VC: Get the fuck out of my office. NEXT!

…is how that story should have gone.