My guide to HypnoBirthing for Dads

The first time I heard of HypnoBirthing I was skeptical for sure. I had seen too many programmes and heard too many stories about Epidurals, Caesarian sections and Forceps to think there could possibly be another way. I was wrong and on more than one level.

The first thing I noticed when I met Tracey, our incredible HypnoBirthing Midwife was how much she put both soon-to-be parents at ease from the time she opened the door to her mother’s home, the location of our sessions back in 2012. I have been in and out of Hospital over the years both as a patient and as a visitor and often wonder how the staff manage to hold the entire service together with what seems like not much more than steely determination, safety pins and lots of black coffee. This felt different.

Right from the beginning we learned that HypnoBirthing was much more of a team effort and that the Dads would be playing an equally important although more backstage role than that of the Mums. At any time we could be tasked with logistics, transport or boosting morale not to mention liaising with the birthing staff and fending off the impatient stream of well-wishing calls and texts that begin to flood in once you get closer to the elusive ‘due date’.

The more I learned the more I realised how little I actually knew about Birthing and what we Dads can expect when the inevitable panic sets in the first time around. In the spirit of community here are my top tips for any soon-to-be Dads considering the Pros and Cons of HypnoBirthing:

• Wary of the name and any attachment to Derren Brown and his mind tricks, I soon built my entire week around looking forward to our Sunday sessions with Tracey. The ‘Hypno’ in HypnoBirthing just means learning to truly relax and enjoy basic meditation. I really missed it when our course ended
• Read Marie Mongan’s book with / before your Partner. Not only will this give you all the knowledge you need to know, it will help to put her mind at ease when you are the one to bring up the conversation of ‘Placenta Encapsulation’ over dinner
• Give up on trusting your ‘Due date’ — a relative few actually end up being born on this day. Consider weeks 38 — 42 your ‘Due month’ and like a good Cub Scout, be prepared by packing your Dad’s bag well in advance just in case
• HypnoBirthing isn’t about having a perfect birth. Rarely will events play out that don’t throw a curveball of some kind or other but what it does do is arm us with the facts and confidence to question the medical staff on the best course of action. That’s our job but be warned — They aren’t used to it!
• Lastly, be a (human) rock — Hollie and I still debate the quality of the role I played in Mila’s birth but truth be told factoring in the sleep deprivation and sheer enormity of the event I did the best I could. Nobody will ever ask more of that

Safe and happy birthing when the big day arrives.