How to Get Rid of Pesky Family Members During the Holidays
Hopefully by now you have recovered from any possible crazy Fourth of July induced woes, be it from overeating at a cookout, the concentrated smell of smoke following the fireworks, or your family. To help ease you back into work for this or any holiday, let’s do a little thinking exercise.
Imagine a big white bear. He’s jumping in the snow and rolling around, just generally having a grand ol’ time.
Now try anything to not think of that bear. Think about taxes or how tired you might’ve been on Tuesday at work after the Fourth of July, but don’t think about that white bear.
Difficult, right? This is a classic psychology experiment on thought suppression in which people were told to think freely for a couple minutes while not thinking of a white bear; as you can imagine it was nearly impossible for most people to not think of one.
I was tricked by the same philosophy this weekend. While on the way to hang out with a friend’s family she mentioned I should write about family in my blog this week. On the way home you could imagine she had completely changed her mind after seeing how crazy her family was (keep this point in mind, we’ll be bringing it back together at the end in typical “Austin” blogging style). She told me it would probably be a better idea if I didn’t write about family this week.
Well much like the white bear, when I sat down to write all I could think about was writing about family (apologies to my friend).
From Fellows to Family
This past week of the fellowship included the fellows sitting around a familiar conference room table in a familiar building with those oh-too-familiar coffee cups. The task was simple, to share an article of your choosing about hunger, education, or poverty, and to lead a discussion.
To be honest, I don’t remember much about the articles. That isn’t to say I wasn’t impressed by them, or that I didn’t learn something from reading them, but what sticks out to me was the feeling I had in the room while sharing the articles.
I couldn’t help but notice how much closer we had grown as a cohort together. The meeting was sprinkled with inside jokes, genuine intrigue in learning from each other, and the feeling of a safe and supported space to talk.
Seeing how much closer we have grown since day one, and realizing how much time we still have to develop over the summer honestly made me excited. I love the foundation’s model of intentional fellowship cohort development because it means one day I am shaking my tail feather with all the fellows while the next we’re planning how to change North Carolina together.
If that’s not family I don’t know what is.
From Friends to Family
On a similar note, if someone is willing to drive from Chapel Hill to Raleigh with you just because you forgot to pack socks for the weekend while only complaining just a tiny bit, they’re family too.
This past weekend with the Fourth of July was filled with moments of realizing how my friends have honestly become family to me. I went to visit college friends back in Chapel Hill and they took me in, fed me, drove me to Raleigh when I realized I didn’t pack socks, and let me play with their dog while they washed the dishes.
After spending time with those friends, I went to visit the family of the friend mentioned in the beginning of this blog. For me, I would not be willing to bring anyone around my family who I didn’t already consider family myself (due to, you know, the seemingly extreme horrors that follow at every family event).
Realizing I had a friend who was willing to take me to their family’s cookout for the Fourth of July showed me how close we had become in such a short time.
Anyone who is willing to bring someone around their grandma with the sharp tongue or their aunt with the most carefree attitude around (trust me) must be at some level, family.
Just Like Your Nose, You Can Pick Your Family Too
What may not be the most eloquent way to sum up my thoughts on the past week, the value that I took away was not only the importance of family, but the importance of the family you choose.
The family you are born into is unavoidable and unchangeable, though it usually works out for the best.
The family you pick are the ones you can shake your crazy tail feather with, the ones who clean while you play with cute dogs, the ones who innocently take you around their family and walk away questioning their judgement for having done so.
So, to answer your internal monologue this entire time, how do you get rid of pesky family members during the holidays?
You surround yourself with chosen family. Surround yourself with people who form a human shield from sharp-tongued grandma questioning and carefree aunt advice.
I feel more equipped to handle the coming holidays with this arsenal of chosen family at my side. I’m lucky this fellowship has provided the space for such family to be found and developed.
By: Austin Gragson
An Update From the Fellows
Tiffany Turner
In the coming weeks, I am working on starting a Kickstarter campaign, creating Google and Facebook advertisements, working on a email newsletter, and coordinating for a volunteer event for Carroll’s Kitchen. I’ve been learning so much in my work with CK and am excited for what the rest of the month has to offer!
Seth Saeugling
This past Friday I started my project with the North Carolina Community Foundation (NCCF). I am interviewing local leaders to identify and support NCCF’s rural giving strategy. I used to teach high school special ed in Warren County, and that was the first place I felt at home in my life. I’m thankful to get to work on a project close to my heart.
Adrienne Lauchert
I’m coming back this week from an awesome long weekend in New York visiting family and friends — many of whom I haven’t seen since Christmas. I will be working in Tarboro on Friday, recruiting college and high school students to participate in EdNC’s public policy bootcamp and join a local SFER chapter. I will also be meeting with Teach for America’s incoming corps members to talk about the importance of community engagement.
Oderah Chidom
I am really enjoying my summer. I feel as if I am growing professionally as well as learning many insightful topics regarding food security and the importance of education. Kia and I are working to get the community involved with understanding the timeline of events coming up with the project. It’s a lot of fun and exciting work.
