Dating was a scary prospect for me…..those walls you build up over the years and that you reinforce with plaster and wallpaper, and knowing that sometime in the future those very walls would have to be pulled down brick by brick, was a very daunting thought. Trusting people and giving them the benefit of the doubt is a normal thing to do, but I liked to be in control, to be careful and to do my homework on anyone that threatened those walls of mine from falling down.
And so it happened!
Those walls that I so carefully cemented together, those cracks that were so carefully polyfilled over and that paint that was meticulously applied to keep it looking pretty, all came down because of 1 guy.
It seems ironic how shopping for a tacky magnet for my fridge attracted a guy doing the very same thing. The irony of a magnet exerting a force unseen managed to attract this guy, to pull 2 humans together when I really wasnt looking. He introduced himself as Alex and things moved quickly soon afterwards.
He ripped my walls down with his bare hands and tossed those bricks aside like they were lego blocks. His hands were bloodied and bruised, his brow glistened with sweat and his eyes were stinging and red due to the dust and rubble, but rip them down he did. It never occured to me at the time that I may need those bricks back, to thinking “damn, why wernt those bricks actually made of lego” How easy it would of been to piece them back together in any order or colour, any size or shape, even if there was gapping holes, as long as there was something I could resemble as a wall.
I jumped in feet first, enjoying the company of Alex and his so many great qualities. His fondness of travelling, his love of art, his ability to see good in all things, his sense of style and his passion for keeping fit and healthy. Next to him I looked like a weedy fake who borrowed from his great life and gave nothing in return. To Alex I was so much more than the sum of my parts. He said “I was worth my weight in gold and more” which I scoffed at and blushed with embarrassment.
And so it came to pass that we were a couple, a couple initially meeting because of those magnets that worked their magic. We travelled alot, collecting those fridge magnets along the way and all the time reminiscing about our travels to those far away lands. Magnets that represented the countries we had visited and acting like a snapshot of our time there. Those lands that truly were breath-taking, Egypt, Australia, France and many more besides. Those foreign locations that kept us learning, growing and for the most part, together.
It was only after 2 years that something felt diffrent. My fridge door was full of those magnets. Those bloody magnets of pink flamingos, red double decker buses, an eiffel tower here or a sydney opera house there, but there they were. Stuck to that fridge door unyieldingly defying gravity, unmoveable and taunting me. They continued to do their job as magnets should but their effect on my relationship was losing strength.
Alex would travel alot with work and would always bring me a magnet back from the destination he would reside in for that amount of time. Recently he had “forgotten” or “had no time” to aquire one and this had a very profound effect on me.
Magnets are what brought us together, kept us together and ultimately, what pulled us apart.
We remain very good friends with alot less expectations from each other. Time is a healer and over time I have learned so much about myself. My walls have remained down, my magnets remain on my fridge door and I have gained an important friend.
I wouldnt of changed a thing……except for that bloody pink flamingo!!! Is that the best I could of got from Florida?