I’ve been silent here lately. Silent everywhere, in fact. I have so much to say, but the words have been coming to me in private, in these bursts of notes on my phone, in conversations I’m having in my mind — all concealed. My silence is not consent to what is happening here in America. It may seem like consent, but the truth is, I have never been someone who reacts quickly and I don’t let words spill out from my mouth until they’ve been properly vetted within my mind. …

America in 2016 is about the individual to the detriment of everyone else. You’re too “politically correct” if you care about anything beyond yourself, if you believe that the emotional safety of others is just as important as their physical safety. This is a pussy move in 2016. And, more and more, we’re seeing an overwhelming amount of “strength” that is born from weakness — the kind of bullshit strength that believes the less you care about others, the stronger you are.

To believe in the power of love in 2016 is to be delusional — we need GUNS to protect ourselves, not love. We need racism to keep our streets safe, not tolerance. We need Islamophobia to keep our country secure, not acceptance. We need sexism to restore the “natural” order of things — those females are getting out of control now, time to put them in their place. We need hate to bring peace. We need aggressive strength and ceaseless violence and rhetoric that puts this country back a hundred years in order to prove that WE. ARE. …

When “they” talk about self-love, they’ll tell you about bathtubs by candlelight and special dates you take yourself on and sips of tea in front of rainy windowsills. They make love sound like a bizarre fever dream where everything is wonderful.

But love is not that fever dream.

And self-love is not won by moonlight through soft, measured breaths. It is a painful, destructive birth of new self. To love yourself you must first look squarely on with the things that have kept you from loving yourself. The things that have kept you from loving yourself are not soft blossoms of joy. They are not your favorite memories on replay. …

I have a love/hate relationship with the internet. While I love that I can easily put my creative work into the world and build an audience around the type of art I want to create, I have a disdain for how much unpaid work I have to do. Almost everything is expected to be free now. Podcasts should be free. Art should be free. Music should be free. All of this valuable creative capital is being shucked out in the hope that exposure will ultimately lead to some sort of revenue.

So, while the internet is a cornucopia of art and a promised land for artists who truly want to share, it’s not always the most sustainable way to build your finances. Creatives have to become increasingly scrappy in order to be able to do what they love. …

Here’s the thing about clarity: I know a lot of us want it. We want the clear picture, the path, hell, maybe even the next step. We feel like we’re in the dark a lot. There’s a reason why every time I write about feeling “lost” a lot of people are like, “me too, omg, me too.” Life is weird. It’s confusing. We don’t always know if we’re doing the things we should be doing or that feel right or what even “right” feels like. …

You don’t need more motivation. You don’t need to be inspired to action. You don’t need to read any more lists and posts about how you’re not doing enough.

We act as if we can read enough articles and enough little Pinterest quotes and suddenly the little switch in our brain will put us into action. But, honestly, here’s the thing that nobody really talks about when it comes to success and motivation and willpower and goals and productivity and all those little buzzwords that have come into popularity: you are as you are until you’re not. You change when you want to change. You put your ideas into action in the timing that is best. …

Love — be it romantic, self, or otherwise — is rascally. A few undiligent weeks and you can lose yourself, parts of you breaking off in pieces as the sun rises and sets. You can’t go on cruise control, ignoring the shifts and starts and stops that the cultivation of love requires. You must be focused, diligent, present, otherwise it can slip away not all at once, but slowly, until you wake up disoriented, empty, confused.

This is how love breaks. Not in one swift motion, but tiny fracture by tiny fracture until it amounts to a crash. …

Imagine you have this well inside of you which is full of ideas, philosophies, thoughts unique only to you. Imagine there’s talent in so much of what you do, that you feel possessed by your need to share the interior of your mind with others. Imagine you have a drive, a singular ambition to use the contents of your brain and your heart to shift the world if only in some small way. Imagine you yearn deeply for impact and power and wealth and influence and fame and acclaim. Imagine your interests lay in being visionary, inventive, different, interesting.

Imagine this all exists inside of you just waiting for the moment to burst out into the open air. …