How to *really* know you’re in love
Kris Gage
7.7K82

This is great. A lot of this, though, is where I think, well, damn, let’s all just “not be human” (aka, not be insecure, or afraid, or “grabby”…) But, not everyone is well adjusted enough to do this. And it feels a little impatient and shaming to suggest otherwise. So many years of therapy or pain from the past, or trauma, etc./whatever, and you realize that you (and others) have a lot of crap getting in the way automatically to to even know, yes, HOW to love. So I like that you made that distinction at the end. I think that’s really important. It’s more kind. Otherwise this comes across a bit like you’re telling people to just “stop having issues that you’ve had since childhood, that you might be trying really hard to learn about and fix and heal from in ORDER to love… because it’s not that hard, stupid”. Anyway…it’s a good reminder to look at one’s own behavior, though. I certainly am “guilty” of being afraid and confused and in the dark when I think I love someone and I forget to have compassion for them because I’m so afraid (aka: child-me :P). That one can be really hard, when you feel so hurt. It takes a lot of practice and strength, I’ve found, to not confuse your past/childhood triggers with how you feel about what a person is actually doing. The more we can practice the HOW, the better we will all be!