Sometimes I find myself seeking out opportunities to be jealous. This is bad. I’ll cast my brain managerial skills regarding the use of the internet down to the dust and my fingers will quickly move over the keys, eager to contract envy, jealousy and bitterness stemming from people who don’t know I’ve chosen them to assist me in constructing these emotions. It’s funny that these intense negative emotions don’t effect those that they’re directed toward. I’ve always thought, much in the way the “book” The Secret purports regarding positivity, that my negative thoughts and energy toward a person will cause them to come crumbling to their knees in humble submission to the laser-like energy shooting from my furrowed brow into their otherwise happy life.

This has never happened before. Feelings don’t cause people to crumble, nor should they. It’s an ongoing, self-prescribed lesson that this thought process is maniacal and unethical, but that’s the inner life I’m faced with correcting. Jealousy, anger, bitterness, envy and any other carefully cultivated detriment to personal progress are only capable of affecting the one housing them. It’s an interesting thing. I haven’t mastered believing this, but I’m working on it.