EMOTIONAL FIRST AID
I have seen and reacted to many things shared on social media. Not by commenting usually but in messages. We all see a behaviour and want to call people on it. Some even tag you in articles after letting you know how your behaviour offended them.
Maybe it would have been different if anyone knew the person and could speak to the individual in person.
I am not immune to reading something that isn’t there. I react. Meaning I act something out that’s been regurgitated by assumption. Its something I hate but find myself in a mindless protection mode. And I need to understand the different sides to all the “concern” over a perceived action.
ABC’s in first aid is something I will try.
A- act- if someone is in immediate danger
Go to the source and protect the victim from danger (ie) tell them to call on a loved one before letting that person go.
For me when I was left alone I wrote letters to everyone and planned my suicide. For the victim, it’s not your fault. One time my trauma came to head after a class at my college sent my phobias, fears and mania to psychosis. Let the person know it’s not their fault
B-breathe!!! Simple and extremely effective
If we take a moment and breathe we can be a little more logical. Might take an hour or days to practice.
The natural reaction to anything from anger to fear has the same exact effects on your body! Scientifically proven and when I look back this has merit.
These can be broken down to; flight, fright, freeze, faint and another one that’s unorthodox “fuck it” its in quotations because it was said in a living well class by the expert. In each instance our symptoms are the same. The only one you can control is your breathing.
My mom clapped when I got angry at her. Although she is special in that she knew my history. I was usually the “fuck it” before the source of the problem was solved filling me with poison. Super sensitive but hiding and taking is out on myself.
For the victim. It’s not your fault.
I remember once my daughter was left in tears. The person who triggered her was horrified the emotions were from her action and words. Intent is big. I try to speak directly to people. Seems to work. Not always and I agree to disagree often
And yes I know it’s our choice to take it on or not.
Understand, just like the cold takes away your ability to fight off germs it’s hard for the mental illness survivor to stand up against gossip, public shaming, criticism and even feedback meant to help.
Urge anyone struggling to talk to someone.
Anger is usually from hurt.
After a disagreement we can go on and live happy lives. Yes nobody is perfect! We are all susceptible to being part of the problem.
It’s kind of magic how in person contact can reduce us to forgiveness and tears.
There will be a lot of storms and construction but deep down all human got our backs:)
To the victim. It’s not your fault.
To everyone. Let’s just go forward to another day with love.