THINGS TO DO IN THE CITY WHEN YOU’RE FROM A TINY VILLAGE CALLED HAIDA GWAII..

You gotta have a sense of humour. No two ways about it. I’m always making my children uncomfortable but they laugh at how ridiculous I can be.

I made my son and his friends sing “yellow submarine” to amuse me while I drove.

My daughters buddies would have to put up with a ritual “van dance” while I played the music super loud.

Whether it’s waiting for the beat to drop outside Atwells, gangster walking down the school hallway, splatting my face against a glass window of a class my son was in, yell so loudly at a soccer game my one child stopped dead and yelled “mom!”I did my job of raising hyyylarious babies.

I have seen both sons make people fall down laughing. My daughters tease mercilessly. I have been escorted out of a few places because together were a little loud. We aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, because we usually can make you spit it out after hearing the McLeod road show.

Of course when we’re away my behaviour is worse. I walk after strangers like Igor. I have a few suggestions of tried and true entertaining things to do.

1) Stand facing the wrong way in the elevator exclaiming how we need to change our perspective.

2) walk up the down escalator lamenting how you can’t afford a treadmill

3) walk info Starbucks and ask for directions to the nearest Tim Hortons. This was a dare. I must say their staff was awesome and did it without hesitation

4) undress a mannequin at a Sally Ann and try on what you take. Come back letting everyone know she wore it better.

5) turn on every “try me” toy in Walmart and keep doing it until you get the stare

6) wear a pair of glasses on the top of your head and one on your face. This was an accident but I did understand some of the looks I got

7) this one I didn’t really set out to do. Offer to help a lady on her wheelchair and while pushing her toward the hospital entrance ask if she wants you to put on the after burners, luckily she was pretty cheeky and said “YA” I still smile remembering her huge smile and giggles.

8) walk into any store backwards. This is great too if you want a personal shopper. Apparently you’re in need if you’re acting differently.

8) spend five minutes trying to figure out why the card lock gas giver outer thing doesn’t work. Wait for a line up/audience when you realize you just had to put the metal thing down.

Okay that last one was here and happened last week, not on purpose.

It’s like my gift is having things happen to me that are kind of an offset to the insidious place my mind can be. He sent me ken to keep a gentle hand on me. My God is an awesome God.

We can all use a little love and the heart lift of relaxing those social norms and constraints. I keep pushing those boundaries and seeing another way to embrace life and its offerings.

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