It has been a week since Father’s Day. Not that anyone cares.

Unless you were a certain stooped somebody with a bling addiction,

you would’ve noticed the conspicuous lack of brouhaha on Father’s Day.

Granted, there was some mention of it. But only by the mushmageddons among us. Who would have gone ♩♬Congratulations and celebrations♬♪ no matter what.

My first impression was:

“Suck it Hallmark! Your reign of capitalist holidays is over.”

But soon, memory jogged me awake to the tsunami of sop that was vomited all over my news feed merely a month ago on Mother’s Day.

So clearly, greeting card holidays were still a thing. Only Father’s Day, wasn’t. Which to the erudite, may seem like hardly something worth wasting another second over.

Only, it is. For while we’d like to believe that such occasions don’t matter. The fact remains that the majority among us are still those whose mindsets are moulded by trite caricatures of parenthood showcased in media and highlighted on these very candy-ass ‘days’. Translation: Father’s Day being a no show, poses a problem for fatherhood. And consecutively, for motherhood.

It’s bad enough as it is that mothers are portrayed as this Workplace Daenerys Targaryen/Child-rearing, Level: Expert/Spouse-rearing, Level: Expert/Unpaid house-slave/Human version of a kitchen. And now with father figures dropping like flies from the picture, we may as well be saying that fathers are not needed in the picture. That they are free to neglect their duties towards their children, their family and their home. Because mommy dearest, is on it. She will balance that baby on one hand as she uses her other hand to finish her PPT, her one foot to vacuum the floor and her other foot to make you a sandwich.

We may not have realised it yet. But in our pursuit to break free from patriarchal stereotypes of ‘mother-in-need’ and ‘father saviour’, we have ended up creating an equally toxic second set of stereotypes. A freakishly impossible supermom who does everything under the sun. Everything? Everything. And a dad who, we can only assume, is somewhere in the background waiting for his cue to lend the occasional sperm for baby making.

We’ve got to stop shunning one parent to make the other parent stand out. For that would mean falling in a vicious cycle with one of them always being under-represented. There’s a reason why both fatherhood and motherhood exist. Each one is a noble contribution to life. No inferior than the other. And should both, therefore, be represented better.

In an era that has redefined the very concept of a family by embracing lesbian families, gay families, trans families and single parent families, surely we can come up with a better imagery for a mother and a father. By lowering the female counterpart from the lofty pedestal we’ve put her on. And putting the male counterpart on a footstool at the very least. So young boys will aspire to be better fathers. So fathers who’re doing an A+ job at being fathers, see it with a sense of pride. Not just as their duty. So dads who’re not lifting a finger around the house, know what a shitty dad means. Them.

Little wonder why equal sharing of responsibilities among spouses, is still not as obvious as it ought to be. A father who does more than just change the occasional diaper, is a haloed one. Not a common one.

And a mother who is just as passionate about her job as her husband, is either accused of neglecting her mom code or is not being appreciated for what she’s bringing to the table.

To cut a long story short, we need better mom heroes and more dad heroes. Since the media is unlikely to oblige overnight, a little nudge from you would help. Yes you, fellow netizen who’s reading this article. (Assuming someone has made it this far in my article.) Next year when Mother’s Day comes by, try not to pressurise your mum with an over-compliment that she can never live up to. And on Father’s Day, start by at least wishing him a Happy Father’s Day.